


As Long As We're Going Down (You Should Stick Around)

by badgirlshenanigans



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-11
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-03-22 07:16:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 26,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3719986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badgirlshenanigans/pseuds/badgirlshenanigans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lexa’s seemingly got it all, she’s top of her class, captain of the soccer team, and one of the more popular girl’s in her school. The only problem her crush on Clarke Griffin, and Clarke’s fascination in competing with Lexa in every possible way. All she wants to do is make it through her Home Ec class without failing, or losing her mind, which becomes exponentially harder when she’s paired with her crush, and biggest competitor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“This assignment is completely outdated”. 

“I agree, it’s presumptuous to even think everyone in this room would even want to raise a child”.

Not for the first time Lexa wishes her parents had been more willing to excuse her from this class. Even worse it’s the third class in her schedule that she shares with Clarke Griffin. Clarke who’s currently glaring at her like she’s done something to personally offend her. Lexa isn’t sure how her agreement has caused such a look, but she’s given up on understanding most things relating to Clarke. 

“Well I appreciate the input Miss Griffin and Miss Heda, it’s always nice to see you students getting passionate about the class. Although based on your shared opinions on my class and it’s practicality I think it’s a good idea for you two to partner. Partners are permanent for this class, so the rest of you choose wisely before I change my mind and assign all of you partners.”

Two years of having a crush on Clarke and Lexa’s managed to avoid most direct contact until this moment. It’s irksome that despite the apparent distraction it’s made her opinion of this class lift ever so slightly. The feeling doesn’t seem to be shared.

“You better not screw this up for me”, Clarke punctuates the statement by dropping her bag into the space next to Lexa. The loud volume would be off-putting if anyone else was the cause. Unfortunately the source is Clarke, and it does nothing to deter her mood. 

“It is unlikely that I would. I have a record to maintain.”

“I get it Lexa, you’re the top student. You don’t have to remind me”.

Not for the first time confusion courses through her at Clarke’s response. Lexa’s never been able to understand the subtext that Clarke seems to observe from their conversations. The teacher is quick to interrupt before she can question Clarke and soon enough a fake baby is being placed between them,” your child for the next week. Try to keep it alive ladies”.

“I have soccer practice-“, by the time Lexa’s turned to discuss her prior engagements with Clarke the other girl’s already on her feet moving for the door. 

“Excellent. You can carry it around until then if you want me to watch it while you practice”.

“Clarke. Shouldn’t we discuss a schedule? Or discuss names?”

Clarke hesitates and Lexa’s pleased that she seems to genuinely contemplate the idea before Clarke’s shrugging giving her a dismissive wave,” how about Van Gogh?”

“Shall I cut off one of its ears then?” 

Clarke stays just long enough to roll her eyes.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

It always seems to hit her during their lunch period. Costia’s been gone for two years, and yet Lexa still feels her presence. It’s frustrating. The fact that she’s spent the better half of three class periods listening to incessant crying isn’t helping. 

“I’ve gotta say Lex motherhood doesn’t suit you”.

The voice of her best-friend, and co-captain breaks her from her thoughts and Lexa scowls in her direction.

“Very encouraging”.

Octavia takes in the uncomfortable way Lexa’s cradling her assignment, and she seems to take pity on Lexa. Restraining whatever snarky comment was due to follow. Unfortunately Octavia’s girlfriend isn’t as kind.

“That thing would probably be more comfortable laying on a box of rocks”. 

“Raven’s got a point-“.

“I despise both of you”. 

Octavia grins reaching out to snag the baby. It’s frustrating the ease in which she finds a comfortable position to hold it,” oh please you know you love us Heda”.

“No.”

Raven offers her a sweet grin glancing down at the doll,” so who’d you get paired with? Was it at least someone hot”?

It’s suddenly much harder to make eye contact with either girl and Lexa can feel the smile growing on Raven’s lips

“You totally got paired with Clarke. Oh this is excellent, does this mean you finally manned up and actually tried to speak to her”?

“The teacher paired us together, she didn’t approve of our negative opinions of her class”. 

“You guys were forcibly paired together? Oh I bet the princess is pissed about that”.

Lexa shoots another glare in Raven’s direction, Octavia’s expression is slightly more sympathetic,” how upset can she really be?”

It seems cruel that Clarke happens to be walking by in that moment,” Lexa. You’re aware that our goal is to keep the child appeased and stop it from crying correct? Because I’m pretty sure the rules aren’t to hand it off to whoever you can and hope it’ll shut up”.

Lexa gives an indignant sigh quickly retrieving the child form Octavia’s arms, frowning when the crying quickly starts up again.

“We can’t all be natural mothers like yourself Clarke. I’m not well suited for caring for a child”. 

Lexa hadn’t really considered the comment an insult, but it’s very clear from Clarke’s expression that she’s taken the comment as such. 

“Just do your job Lexa. I’m not letting my grades slip just because you can’t hold a sack of cotton for a few hours a day”.

Lexa’s fairly confident that her face is warm enough to fry an egg, it’s impossible to miss the horrified looks on Octavia and Raven’s faces and she can’t help but be a little snappy,” what are you looking at”?

“I thought you said you had a crush on Clarke.”

“I’m not sure you stated that loud enough Octavia”.

Raven shakes her head obviously forcing back a laugh,” we have got to work on your flirting skills, because I’ve seen kindergarteners with more game than you”.   
Lexa figures her glare is response enough.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

“Heads up Heda you’ve got company”. 

Practice is running late. It’s a common occurrence early on in the season, and normally there wouldn’t be any negative consequences. Except now she’s been partnered in raising a child, and her co-parent   
had very specifically asked her to pick up the project at five o’clock on the dot. Lexa would be surprised if it was earlier than six at this point.

“Lexa get over here. Now”. 

It’s probably the first time Lexa’s seen Clarke look furious, and if it weren’t directed at her she’d probably think it was hot. 

”Alright everyone finish your drills, and then head in to the showers”. 

It’s informal compared to her usual end of practice speeches, but her focus has turned to Clarke, and she’s quick to jog to the sidelines, despite her usual pre-disposition to following orders.

“You couldn’t have even texted me to let me know you were going to be late? What the hell Lexa, I missed the entire meeting waiting for you to show up”, it’s only a little surprising that Clarke’s already invading her space, and against her instinct she takes a step back nearly tripping over her own feet.

“I don’t have your number”, it isn’t her strongest comeback. 

“That’s no excuse Lexa. If we’re going to do this together then you need to show up when you say you will. We have to work together, as impossible as that seems to be for you”.

“I apologize for my tardiness Clarke, it won’t happen again”. 

Lexa’s broken two of her rules, she’s managed to apologize, and listen to Clarke’s orders within the span of minutes, and it does nothing but increase her affections for the other girl. It does increase her frustration, at how Clarke seems to be the only one capable of having this effect on her. Even Costia had never come close to intimidating her. 

“It better not”, the babies being shoved into her arms along with its various supplies and Clarke’s storming back in the direction in which she came. Despite her instincts Lexa followers her,” Clarke.”

Clarke’s pace slows and she takes it as an indication to continue. Lexa matches the stride and retrieves her phone from her pocket offering it to Clarke,” here. This way you can get ahold of me. In case you ever need anything”. 

Her actions seem to surprise Clarke enough to slow her to a stop. Lexa gives a curt nod of encouragement when she finally grabs the phone, and it’s difficult to restrain a smile,” here, only for school related questions.”

Lexa nods curtly again as she returns the phone to her pocket,” of course strictly professional”. 

Clarke hesitates again and Lexa wishes her stomach didn’t feel like it was doing somersaults,” are you going to be okay watching it tonight”?

“Of course. Have you given more thought to a suitable name”?

“What about Benjamin”?

“It’s a baby not a middle aged man”. 

Clarke frowns and Lexa scrambles to offer a suitable alternative,” Lincoln”?

Lexa’s not sure who’s more surprised by Clarke’s hesitant nod,” I like it. Lincoln’s a good name”. 

She feels it’s appropriate when she offers Clarke a small smile, it’s a small victory when Clarke hesitantly returns it. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow Lexa”.

“I look forward to it Clarke”. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I’m captain of the cheerleading squad I can’t watch the baby during the game”.

“We’ve reached an impasse then”. 

Clarke’s giving her a rather unimpressed look, and Lexa’s regretting her choice to sit next to Clarke in history class. A decision she was telling herself had purely been based on making taking care of the shared project easier. 

“We could ask Raven”. 

“To watch Lincoln? Is that allowed”?

Lexa’s honestly never asked, so she simply shrugs hoping that’s enough to convince Clarke.

“She does come to every game.”

“I can ask her at lunch.”

“I can always try and persuade her in Chem. Hopefully Octavia won’t be disappointed about sharing her favorite cheerleader’s attention”.

“Maybe it’ll keep her from being so distracted during the game”. 

Clarke’s giving her a genuine smile and Lexa can’t help but return it, despite inwardly berating herself,” they make a really good couple. Even if they’re a little sickening to be around in large doses”.   
Lexa can’t help but agree with her, but she’d never verbally state her approval, she would never hear the end of it. So instead she shrugs again giving a small nod,” they suit each other well.”

“Wow you really put yourself out there with that compliment”. 

“It took a great deal of effort,” she replies dryly.

She doesn’t bother to fight the tight lipped smile at the exasperated way Clarke’s eyeing her.

\----------------------------------

“How am I the one getting stuck with babysitter duty”?

“It was Clarke’s idea.”

“Wait how is she supposed to watch me play if she’s watching your kid”, Lexa isn’t surprised that the idea of not having all of Raven’s attention is the only thing that pulls Octavia’s attention from her plate. She was notorious was scarfing down abnormally large portions before a game.

“Hopefully she’s better at multitasking than you”. 

Octavia only pauses long enough to throw a wadded up napkin in Lexa’s direction. It’s easy to dodge and Lexa can’t help but smirk,” hope your aims better than that tonight”.

It’s rather pleasing when even Raven can’t help but laugh at the look of irritation Octavia’s giving her. 

\----------------------------------------------------

Soccer had always been a great stress reliever for Lexa, and considering she’d spent more time with Clarke in the last seventy-two hours than the entirety of their elementary and middle school careers she needed it. That said it was just a little bit harder to ignore the blonde who was positioned far too perfectly in the center of the field. 

“I thought Evergreen was supposed to be an easy win”.

Octavia looks rough. Lexa’s played alongside her long enough to know she’s almost at her limit, and honestly she’s feeling the exhaustion herself. They’re up by one but Lexa’s realistic. It’s more than possible for the other team to catch up in the last two minutes. 

“You should take over for Monroe in goal”.

Octavia’s expression is skeptical and Lexa doesn’t blame her, it’d be the first time they’d used Octavia as a goalie in over a year. Octavia was by far their best goalie, and one of the perks of only using her on rare occasions was that everyone doubted her capabilities. They’d lower their standards, and it would cost them points.

“Are you sure you want to play that card so early in the season”?

“Losing isn’t an option”.

This seems to reassure Octavia and Lexa’s quick to their full back Harper,” we’re switching positions for the rest of the game. Play aggressively but safe. Worst case scenario just try to keep the ball out of their possession”. 

Everyone, the coach included had learned long ago to just go with Lexa’s spontaneous changes. Their ability to play diversely had always been one of their strong suits as a team, and Lexa was good at playing to their strengths.

“We’ve got two minutes to hold this score. We’re going all the way this year, and that means not being the losing team on our first game. So let’s get out there and prove that we aren’t a team to underestimate”. 

Lexa knows it isn’t her strongest speech but it seems to resonate in her teammates and she gives them all a pat on the back as they pass her before she turns to follow. As they migrate out to their new positions Lexa can’t help but bare her teeth at the opposing team, making sure to meet the gaze of every player before jogging into place in front of the goal,” don’t let me down Octavia”.

“Wouldn’t dream of it Heda”. 

\---------------------------------------

It’s close game, and Lexa isn’t entirely pleased with how close they came to losing, but she knows it’s best to let it slide. They won after all. All she wants is to go home and take a shower, maybe grab an icepack for the spot where the other teams forward kicked her, and sleep. Unfortunately Octavia’s already hell bent on ruining that.

“Come on its tradition. Just come get a shake with us and then you can go about your usual routine. On the subject it’s mildly alarming that you manage to have the same routine ever night.” 

“I’m tired Octavia”.

“Clarke’s coming”, Lexa hates the smug look Octavia’s given her, as if she’s already won the argument.

Against her own free will her eyes find the blonde, whose currently sitting against Octavia’s car conversing with Raven. Lexa wonders if the cheerleading skirts have always been that shirt, and if Clarke’s legs have always looked that good in contrast to the red. 

“One shake”.

“I knew you couldn’t resist me”. 

Lexa can’t help but miss the days when Octavia was still intimidated by her glares, and didn’t simply grin in return like she’s doing now. She allows Octavia to loop their arms together as she drags her towards the car,” I’ve managed to convince the brooding reclusive Lexa to join us for shakes. You can hold the applause”.

It’s obvious that Clarke isn’t as enthusiastic about the addition, but Raven’s giving her an encouraging smile and that seems to make up for it,” does that mean I can ride with you? Because I’ve been trying to get in your charger since last year”.

“Careful I might start to get jealous”, Octavia mutters moving to press a quick kiss to Raven’s cheek.

“Not very family friendly of you Lexa”.

Clarke’s challenging her again and Lexa still hasn’t pinned down what exactly sparks that reaction in Clarke,” I guess Lincoln’s riding in the family van with you then”. 

Clarke rolls her eyes but snags the carrier from Raven, and Lexa’s thankful Raven manages to hold in her comment until they’re out of earshot,” we really need to work on your flirting”.

Lexa wishes she didn’t see the truth behind the statement.

\------------------------------

“How can you even drink that”?

Lexa’s been giving Octavia an appalled look ever since the waitress took their orders, the arrival of the drink hasn’t discouraged the look in the slightest. 

“It’s good, sure you don’t wanna try some”?

Lexa’s quick to shake her head. Her suspicions are confirmed when even Raven gives a small shake of her head.

“Suit yourself”.

“I’ll give it a try”.

Everyone seems surprised to hear Clarke speak up, so far the blonde has remained mostly silent, only really conversing with Raven. Octavia’s quick to slide the concoction over. The grin she gives her is alarmingly big and Lexa’s impressed with her bravery. 

“Finally. Someone brave enough to give it a shot.”

“That drink looks toxic Octavia”, Lexa mutters under her breath. 

The comment seems to bolster Clarke’s confidence as she takes a long pull from the straw. The attempting smile after is admirable.

“Delicious right”, Octavia’s managed to miss the signs of disgust Clarke’s exhibiting, and Lexa can’t help but laugh. The noise seems to surprise everyone, and soon enough Clarke’s joined in shaking her head vigorously,” that’s absolutely apalling Octavia, how can you drink that”?

Raven’s quick to wrap an arm around Octavia to temper the responding scowl,” it’s not my fault you both have awful taste”. 

“You’ve just a stronger stomach than our princess”.

Octavia straightens at this giving a smug look,” you’re right”. 

Clarke’s quick to let out a groan when Octavia leans over to kiss Raven, and Lexa wrinkles her nose shaking her head,” you guys are gross”. 

Lexa lets out another quiet chuckle when Octavia flips her off. 

The moments broken when Lincoln starts wailing. It reminds Lexa of how much she’s looking forward to not having a child anymore. 

“Well that’s probably my queue”. 

Lexa stands to give Clarke space to move,” I should probably go too. I need to finish an assignment tonight”. 

“Way to be boring guys,” Octavia quips and Clarke simply shrugs readjusting Lincoln in her arms. 

“Just wait untill Friday night, the second I’m free of motherhood we’re celebrating”. 

“Oh most definitely, Bellamy’s already planning a party at the house this weekend,” Octavia seems far too enthusiastic about the idea, and it’s enough to motivate Lexa into shaking her head. 

“Well we’ve got a couple of days to see if we can break Lexa’s no party rule. We all know Clarke’s going to be there. She never misses a party”, Octavia’s been trying to get her to come to a party at her place for years. Lexa’s just never fit into the party scene. Unfortunately knowing that Clarke’s going to be there, makes the idea seem far too tempting. 

\-----------------------------------

“You didn’t have to drive me home Lexa, I could’ve walked”. 

“I wasn’t about to make you walk, it’s on the way anyways”, Lexa’s stomach is doing flips again, and she’s pretty sure it’s entirely due to the smile Clarke’s giving her.

“Well I appreciate it, even if I know for a fact that you live in the opposite direction”, Clarke pauses in her rush to gather her things and eyes Lexa. She finds the sudden seriousness concerning. 

“Come to the party”. It isn’t a question, and it wouldn’t matter if it was. Lexa would probably do anything Clarke wanted her too.

“Okay”.

Lexa offers another smile and Clarke silently returns it giving her a wave and then before Lexa’s even managed to process what she’s agreed to Clarke's gone.

\------------------------------------------------

“You’re actually coming?”

Lexa can’t help but frown against the phone,” why do you sound surprised”?

“Oh I dunno maybe it’s the fact that I’ve spent three years trying to get you to come to a party with me, and Clarke asks once and you agree”, there’s a sound of laughter and agreement in the background. It’s not surprising that Raven’s present even for this conversation.

The fact that her motives are so transparent makes Lexa wonder not for the first time if this is even a good idea,” I can always tell Clarke somethings come up”. 

“No no I want you to come Lex it’ll be fun.”

There’s another noise in the background, and this one sounds distinctly far from laughter.

“On that note I have to go, my girlfriend needs tending too”.

“You couldn’t even wait to hang up on me”? 

“Sorry Raven’s very good at getting what she wants”.

“You two are disgusting, I’ll see you tomorrow”. 

Without the distraction Octavia brings Lexa’s thoughts very quickly return to the blonde, and the approaching party. It was probably a poor sign that one statement from Clarke could unravel a three year bias. 

Retrieving her phone she sends Octavia a text despite knowing she’ll probably have to wait until the morning to receive and answer. 

_I have nothing to wear._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa’s seemingly got it all, she’s top of her class, captain of the soccer team, and one of the more popular girl’s in her school. The only problem her crush on Clarke Griffin, and Clarke’s fascination in competing with Lexa in every possible way. All she wants to do is make it through her Home Ect class without failing, or losing her mind, which becomes exponentially harder when she’s paired with her crush, and biggest competitor.

“Congratulations ladies, you’ve survived a week of parenthood. Hopefully you didn’t find the task too tedious.” 

Clarke’s award winning smile contrasts well with the dark look Lexa’s been giving the teacher ever since the period started. She pretends she can’t feel Clarke’s elbow digging into her side in an attempt to distract her from her one sided stare down. She’s never been a fan of anything that ruins her sleep cycle, and the experiment had done more than that. It only helped slightly that she no longer had to listen to the atrocious crying at night.

“She’s going to mark us down if you keep looking at her like you’re going to launch yourself over the table and kill her”.

“If I hop over the table and kill her she loses the ability to mark us down”.

“I don’t see jail suiting you very well”, Clarke retorted with an amused grin.

“It’s unlikely they would be capable of catching me”. 

The statement is meant to be serious, but Clarke almost immediately bursts into laughter and Lexa can’t help but smile. It’s not common for her to be the cause of such emotion in Clarke. She finds it impossible not to revel in. 

“Well that should put you at ease about the party tonight. If Bellamy’s party gets a little too rowdy, and they usually do. You won’t have to worry about being caught by the cops”.

Clarke seems to sense Lexa’s hesitance at the subject change, and her smile quickly becomes a frown,” you’re still coming right”?

Lexa’s reminded of why not going has never really been an option.

“Of course Clarke”. 

\--------------------------------

“Lexa if you aren’t out of the bathroom in the next five minutes I’m going to kick your ass. Octavia’s pissed that we’re running late”.

“Patience is a virtue Raven.” 

“Just get out here”. 

Lexa forces herself to step out of her bathroom, coaching her features into something close to neutral,” I look like an idiot”.   
Raven’s silent and honestly it’s making her nervous. Going to the party had never been something she was really all that excited for, and she’s not even sure if the prospect of seeing Clarke is worth it at this point.

“Holy shit Lexa you look bangin”. 

“I look ridiculous”, she’s caught somewhere between irritated and pleased.

“No I’m serious Lexa you look amazing.” She pauses giving a forced serious look,” you’re the most beautiful broom, in a broom closet full of brooms”.

“I hate you”.

“All jokes aside you really do look awesome, I should just quit while I’m ahead and become a stylist”.

“You’d last all of a day before you were hurrying back to a garage”. 

“You’re right, I wouldn’t get to use my hands nearly as much, and we both know how disappointed Octavia would be with my lack of dexterity”. 

Lexa can’t help but smack the back of Raven’s head, prompting a devilish grin,” you’re just jealous because you don’t get to be on the receiving end of these glorious instruments”.  
“You’re disturbing, you know that right”?

The shutter sound of Raven’s phone doesn’t go unnoticed and Lexa’s scowl deepen,” don’t worry Heda it’s just going to Octavia. She said she wants to see what your legs look out of soccer shorts.”

“You two are the worst”. 

\----------------------------------------------------

Lexa’s not sure she can do this. Theoretically being at a party had seemed fine. That was a lie. Theoretically it had seemed manageable at best. Now that she was actually at Octavia’s stitting outside the party, it seemed impossible. 

Raven had left minutes ago promising she’d be back soon, and that if Lexa disappeared she’d make sure to hunter her down. So Lexa had begrudgingly stayed.

“Okay Heda what’s going on”, Lexa can’t help but jump at the sudden intrusion to her vehicle. Octavia simply gives her a serious look ignoring Lexa’s surprised expression. 

“Nothing. I’m just not sure I want to do this”.

Octavia’s expression is unyielding and unimpressed. 

“I know you Lexa, what’s going on in that head of yours? Is it Clarke, because she hasn’t even showed up yet? Or is it the drinking because you don’t have to drink if you don’t want to. Although I did bring you a beer in case you were in need of liquid courage”.

Lexa doesn’t hesitate to take the drink, and before she can rethink her strategy she’s drained the cup, exceptionally fast at least based on Octavia’s current expression.

“Woah okay, so drinking is a yes then. Look you’re here Lexa, and you look smoking hot. You should at least get out of the car. If Clarke doesn’t show up well then it’s her loss. Besides I’ve been wanting you as a beer pong partner since our first game together”.

Lexa hesitates eyes studying the cup before she nods slowly, “Okay”.

Octavia gives her a wide grin and Lexa hesitantly returns the sentiment. Octavia presses a quick kiss to Lexa’s cheek and then she’s gone as quickly as she’s arrived, and Lexa’s feeling a significant lack of irritation at the action. It should’ve been her first clue that she was in over her head. 

\--------------------

“I hope you’re usually better with your hands than this”.

“I’m fantastic with my hands, I believe my eyes are the part failing me currently”. 

“Too bad you don’t have anyone to disclose your skills-“, Octavia’s voice ebbs off and the look she’s giving Lexa makes her wonder if she should be upset. The two drinks she’s consumed can probably be blamed for her lack of understanding. 

“Cheer up Octavia, the game is not lost yet”. 

“Well you’re a far cry off from a win”.

The voice cuts through her concentration, and it’s enough to pull Lexa’s gaze from the cups that’ve previously been spinning around her vision”, wow”.

Clarke’s responding smile is blinding, and Lexa’s overtaken by the realization of how close Clarke really is. She’s close enough that Lexa could easily kiss her. Not that Lexa wanted to kiss her. Not that Lexa had the courage to kiss her even if she did want to. 

“Wow yourself, and here I thought you’d be in a miserable mood when I arrived, especially with how hesitant you were to come”.

“The alcohol helped”.

“I can see that”, Clarke places a hand on Lexa’s waist to steady her, and Lexa’s skins burns with the contact. 

“Clarke I-“. 

“Clarke!”

Whatever statement she’d been on the verge of it’s interrupted by the arrival of Bellamy, Octavia’s equally attractive well-muscled brother. It’s incredibly aggravating, the effortless way he picks Clarke up in a hug, something Lexa’s not sure she could ever be comfortable enough to try. It’s hard to convince herself that she isn’t jealous of the way Clarke’s face lights up at Bellamy’s arrival. It’s even harder to convince herself she doesn’t care at all.

Somewhere after her third drink she wonders how it must feel to inspire that much happiness in Clarke.

\---------------------

Lexa’s confident that Octavia’s the only sober one in her proximity, a confusing contrast with the stories she’s heard about Octavia’s typical party persona. 

“Lex drink this”. 

It’s not the first time she’s offered the cup to Lexa, and it isn’t any more tempting this time around. Lexa pushes it away gently, or rather what she thinks is gently,” I’m fine Octavia. I don’t require hydration”.

“Lexa you’re going to kill me in the morning, and the only way to lower the chance of that is if you drink water.”

Octavia seems to realize the direness of her situation and changes tactics,” Clarke’s drinking water”.

It’s simple but effective. Within moments the cups drained and Lexa’s giving her a smug look,” I would like to see the princess consume water that swiftly”.

Despite herself Lexa finds comfort in leaning into Octavia, who’s quick to wrap an arm around her. Lexa’s eyes unsurprisingly find Clarke in the thrum of people, and is displeased to see Bellamy has remained at her side, along with Raven. 

“Have you ever noticed how shiny she is? Is it wrong to want to kiss her”?

“I’m going to take a wild guess and assume you’re talking about Clarke”.

“Of course, who else would I be speaking of”?

Octavia’s laugh is contagious and Lexa offers an unabashed smile,” you’re right foolish of me to think you’d be complimenting anyone else”.

Bellamy choses that moment to sling an arm around Clarke’s shoulder, as they do another shot of what Lexa believes is tequila, and it kills her mood immediately. She’s uncertain of how she manages to get to her feet and before she knows it she’s stumbling towards the pair, and Octavia’s quick to regain her grasp on Lexa pulling them to a stop,” whoa where are you off to in such a hurry”? 

“I need to have a discussion with Bellamy and his intentions with Clarke”. 

Octavia’s other arm moves to clasp around her and it does little to deter Lexa’s commitment towards reaching the other side of the room,” release me branwada.” 

“Oh yeah because insulting me in a language we completely made up is definitely going to convince me to let you go”.

Their quiet struggle is enough to draw Raven’s attention and she’s quick to close the distance between them offering a grin,” do I get to join”?

“Raven excellent. Help free me from your girlfriend. She’s preventing me from confronting Bellamy”.

Raven steps forward at that her hands landing on Lexa’s shoulders as if debating between restraining her or assisting her,” as much as I’d love to see you kick Bellamy’s ass, I don’t think that’d end very well for you. Especially since I’m pretty sure your only reason is you’re worried Bellamy’s going to get to Clarke before you do”.

“What makes you think that”, Lexa slurs eyeing Raven skeptically.

“Because I just know you, and I definitely know jealousy. Besides you should be worrying about other things, because Clarke’s definitely not interested in Bellamy. At least in a not-platonic sense”.   
Lexa’s still giving Raven a skeptical look when Clarke decides to show up, and suddenly she doesn’t care about Bellamy or his intentions,” you look like you’re having a fun time”. 

It takes her a moment to remember the arms currently locked around her and she brushes them off glaring at the couple, who are doing a poor job of hiding their amusement,” would you mind hanging out with her for a bit Clarke? I think Raven’s ready to be taken to bed”. 

Raven’s hands have already found their way to the small line of skin showing along Octavia’s waist, and her counterpart has an arm around her shoulder. Clarke doesn’t seem put off by the offer and simply nods glancing over at Lexa who’s grinning at the current prospects.

“Thank you, if you could make sure she makes it up to one of the spare rooms at some point tonight I’d appreciate it”, Octavia’s grinning back at them as Raven does her best to drag her from the room. 

Clarke places a hand on Lexa’s lower back and Lexa’s not even sure her brain can handle anything else at this point,” come on Lexa let’s get you some water”. 

She’s not drunk enough to realize how embarrassed she should be at her earnest nodding.

\---------------

“Well they don’t have a lot of snack food, and you probably don’t want to wait for an entire pizza to be done, so water will have to do for now”.

Lexa’s not confident on how she managed to climb onto the counter, and she’s not certain if Clarke’s sudden position between her legs is a dream or reality. 

“You’re- it’s perfect. Sounds perfectly fine”. 

A blush colors her cheeks and if she didn’t know better she’d say Clarke’s cheeks had turned a tinge of red at that last comment. Lexa hesitates briefly before grabbing the water and quickly downing it. 

“You can return to the party if you’d like Clarke. I’m sure I could make it upstairs on my own”.

“I’m good here”, she feels rather than see’s Clarke’s shrug and when she finally looks up Clarke’s eyes are locked on hers. It’s unfair really, how strong even that affects her. 

Clarke’s pushing Lexa’s resolve, with her casual stance pressing into Lexa’s legs. It’s impossibly hard not to reach out and touch her, but even drunk, she knows better. They’re too different. Clarke being smooth and shiny, seemingly untouched, while Lexa was nothing but sharp rough edges.

“I finally managed to beat you at something”.

The words catch Lexa off guard, and her mind shifts through their various interactions, searching for a time that they might’ve competed, “I don’t remember us competing often Clarke”.   
“I think that’s because you were too busy winning. That and I don’t think I ever mentioned that I was trying to beat you”. 

The statement explains a lot. Especially the tension that frequented most of their interactions,” not everything is a competition Clarke, if it were you’d have beaten me countless times. Besides I do not wish to compete with you”.

Clarke’s giving her a look that makes her head spin, and she tells herself it’s purely for balance purposes when her hands find Clarke’s shoulders,” and what would I be winning at”?  
“I mean look at you”, Clarke looks as surprised by Lexa’s blunder as she feels 

“I do, I mean not frequently, but I do own a mirror. I don’t see your point though”.

“You’re gorgeous. Smart. Talented. You’re head cheerleader. This are all victories”.

“You never tried out for the cheerleading team”.

“I can promise I wouldn’t have done well.” 

“Too many distracting girls in short skirts”?

Once again Lexa finds herself joining in with Clarke’s laughter, and gives a curt nod,” something like that”.

Clarke steps from between her legs, and before Lexa can be too disappointed her hand finds Lexa’s,” come on I’m tired, let’s go claim a spare bedroom before they all fill up”.

“You want to share”?

Clarke cocks her head to the side, seeming to contemplate the idea,” well we did have a child together Lexa, it’s hardly a giant leap forward, or have you forgotten already”?

Clarke shoots her a pleased smirk as Lexa finds herself smiling again,” well I suppose since we seem to be in the habit of doing things completely backwards, we might as well add this to the list”. 

Lexa slides rather gracefully to the ground, and quickly finds herself being led effortlessly from the kitchen. The ease of Clarke’s navigation through the house is surprising, before she remembers Raven’s earlier comment about Bellamy. Octavia had mentioned on a couple occasions that Bellamy, Clarke, and Raven had been closer during their childhoods, Lexa had simply underestimated how tightly knit the trio had been.

“Clarke I have nothing to wear to bed”. 

It takes her mind a moment to catch onto why Clarke’s suddenly so red, and she offers an unapologetic smile,” I suppose I could wear nothing, it would suit me just as well”. 

Clarke’s eyes drag down her body and Lexa straightens under the attention her own cheeks warming. 

“I think it’s best if everyone keep their clothes on. At least for now”. 

It’s hard to pout when Clarke’s smiling at her, but Lexa gives it her best go,” I take offense to your lack of hesitation. That said how is it that you drank more than me and you seem unaffected”?

“Lots and lots of practice”. 

The smile wavers ever so slightly and Lexa wonders if there's a story behind the reaction, and whether she should be questioning it. She decides against it, Clarke would speak up if something was on her mind, and Lexa’s was too foggy for negative conversations.

\-----------------------------

Lexa is in bed with Clarke. Clarke Griffin is in bed with her, in close proximity despite the large space the bed offers. For warmth purposes, she’d said. Lexa wasn’t about to argue with whatever logic Clarke had come up with.

“Relax Lexa I’m not going to kill you in your sleep. That wouldn’t take all the fun out of it”.

She had been blissfully unaware of her stiff posture as Clarke’s legs brushed against hers. She does her best to fall into a more relaxed position, or as relaxed as possible due to Clarke’s proximity.

“Here”, she doesn’t argue as Clarke rolls to face her. Amazingly she maintains her silence as Clarke wraps an arm around her torso her front coming to press fully against her back. Lexa’s pretty sure her brains short-circuiting. 

“Better”?

Lexa doesn’t trust her voice not to betray her feelings on the matter so she simply nods, adjusting herself against Clarke. 

“It will suffice”, she finally manages her words catching harshly in her throat.

“Always so full of compliments aren’t you?”

“I can think of plenty for you”.

She feels the quiet rumble of Clarke’s laughter and smiles,” I’m going to figure out what’s going on in that head of yours one of these days Lexa.”

“I’ll allow you to try”. 

Sleep overcomes her suddenly, and only a small part of her recognizes Clarke speaking. 

“It’s unfair that I want you Lexa, because I’m not sure I could ever deserve having you”. 

She’s too far gone to even consider a disagreeing.

\-----------------------------------

Everything hurts, even the thin stream of light peaking behind the thick curtains is enough to start the pounding in her head. Obviously another reason she’d held off on drinking before this moment.. It’s after her misery has truly set in that she realizes the bed is empty, and that her brain processes that it hadn’t always been. Lexa’s not sure if it’s worse that she’d been intoxicated enough to allow Clarke to stay in the bed with her, or that Clarke hadn’t deemed it worth staying in bed until Lexa woke up.

“You look like shit”, Octavia looks absolutely fine, and it’s irritating.

“Lower your voice Octavia”, Lexa grumbles dragging the covers over her head. 

“I’m practically whispering Lexa, you’re just weak in your current state. I told you to drink more water.”

“I had other things on my mind Octavia”. 

She feels the bed compress and silently moves allowing Octavia space to slide in beside her,” I hear Clarke spent the remainder of her night with you. In fact she’s the one who told me I should come check on you. She has practice today or she would’ve stayed, at least that’s what she told me”.

“Oh”, her tones far more bitter than she would’ve liked, but she hates the way that Octavia knows she’d be wanting an explanation. That she’d be so caught up in whatever insecurities Costia had left her with that she’d need someone to rationalize for her. Lexa was supposed to be the rational one.

“Lexa stop”, Octavia’s hand finds her arm beneath the covers and Lexa can’t help but shrug away from the contact. 

“I’m not doing anything Octavia”. 

“You’re freaking out”.

“I’m not sure what gave you that impression”.

“You’re going to tell me that you don’t care that Clarke’s gone”?

“Why would I”?

Suddenly the covers are gone and Octavia’s sitting on top of her wearing a scowl that rivals her own,” you can’t just pretend you don’t care Lexa. I know you. I can tell when something’s up”.  
Lexa does her best to roll them over, and if it had been any other time she would’ve succeeded. Instead the motion just makes her stomach twist unpleasantly so she relaxes. She’s never been one to cause unnecessary damage for prides sake, and allows Octavia’s weight to settle back onto her.

“I’m fine Octavia. I’ll admit I was disappointed, but Clarke has prior responsibilities, and no obligation to stay and take care of me”, her tone is level and she can see Octavia’s resolve weakening.   
Octavia seems to realize she’d given up escape for the moment and allows her hands to relax resting on Lexa’s stomach,” I just don’t want to see you cut yourself off again. I haven’t seen you smile as much as last night since-“

“I don’t want to talk about that”, Lexa interrupts harshly.

It’s enough to silence Octavia. 

“I swear you two always have all the fun when I’m not in the room”.

They break their silent stare down, eyeing a disheveled Raven, who Lexa’s pleased to see looks about how she feels. Octavia removes her hands from Lexa’s stomach and shrugs,” well you’re more than welcome to join if you think you can handle both of us”. 

Octavia takes a moment to roll off of Lexa moving so that Raven could fit on the other side of Lexa. Lexa gently pats Raven’s brace offering a grimace,” I still don’t understand how you manage to be so quick with that thing”.

“Skill. I’m probably still faster than you Heda, although after your last game, I’m not even sure that’s worth bragging about”.  
Lexa shoves her gently, letting out a quiet groan as the action seems to echo through her skull.

“Did you enjoy your first night of drinking”?

“No I feel awful. I don’t understand why people drink so frequently”. 

“That sounds about right”. 

Lexa tries to pretend it doesn’t make her feel better when Raven’s arm encircles her waist and Octavia’s arm slides under the back of her head to support her,” I still hate you both”.

“Just sleep Lexa. We can debate you fallacies regarding your feelings towards us when you wake up”. 

\-----------------------------------------------

_Lexa we’re partners you can’t avoid me forever. -Clarke_

_I’m serious what’s your problem? - Clarke_

_I’m not going to stop texting you until you answer. - Clarke_

Lexa tosses her phone across the bed, ignoring yet another series of texts from Clarke. She’d managed to spend her entire Saturday in bed. Quite the accomplishment for someone who typically was out being active whenever she had a free day. Clarke was only one of many who’d noticed her reclusion. Those texts had been far easier to ignore than Clarke’s

She’s just finally becoming used to the silence when her phone let’s off a few dings. Glancing down she frowns at the rapid fire texts from both Octavia and Raven.

_It’s for your own good. – Raven_

_I’m sorry I told her no but honestly? I think it’ll be good for you. – Octavia_

_Staying in your room all day has never done anything good for you – Octavia_

The texts do little to dissipate her confusion. The feeling worsens as she hears a knock at the door, but that can be written off as her older sister once again checking in.

“I’m busy studying Anya, go bother someone else”.

The door bursts open then, and Lexa’s caught off guard by the lack of hesitation and Clarke’s sudden arrival. She looks pissed. It’s shallow but Lexa’s finding it hard to concentrate on more than Clarke’s cheerleading outfit.

“How’d you get into my house? Or find it for that matter”?

“That’s all you have to say to me”?

Lexa shrugs returning her attention to the book in front of her,” well it seems unlikely that my parent’s would allow some random girl to come to my room unmonitored so yes. That’s my first question”. 

“Your sister let me in. I didn’t even know that you had a sister”.

She shrugs again disinterested,” you never asked. Had you requested the information I would’ve informed you”. 

This seems to deflate Clarke, but Lexa knows it’s only a temporary fix. Clarke’s never been good at letting go of her frustrations quickly.

“Why weren’t you answering my texts?”

“I was busy. Studying. Which you’re currently interrupting”.

Lexa’s growls in frustration when the blonde snatches the book from Lexa’s hands slamming it shut,” you’re lying Lexa. You were avoiding me, which is fine but don’t be a coward. It doesn’t suite you”.

“Because I was studying”.

“That’s the only reason?”

Lexa decides its best not to answer.

“That’s what I thought. Come on we’re going out”.

“Out”?

“Yes Lexa, out. As in we’re leaving this place to travel to another location, or in your case to emerge from this cave you call a room”.

Clarke’s not willing to take no for an answer, Lexa can sense that much,” where are we going”?

“You’ll find out soon enough.”

“How should I dress?”

Clarke glances around the room before tossing a pair of jeans and a shirt from Lexa’s closet on the bed,” wear that.”

“Can I shower first”?

“If you’re fast”.

“Give me ten minutes”.

\-------------------

“For some reason I didn’t imagine you kidnapping me so we could go to an art show”. 

“Well I’m glad I can still keep you guessing”. 

Lexa’s eyes dart around the brightly lit room, taking in the various paintings and drawings. Art had never been a real draw for her but she could appreciate the skill and technique that went into it. 

“Why here”?

“Why not?”

“Deflection. Another product of a weak mind”.

Clarke simply grins, and Lexa’s irritation wanes. Slightly.

It’s a simple painting that captures her attention. She’s not sure why it stands out to her, until she steps closer and realizes she recognizes the location, and it’s easy to spot the familiar number donning the illustrated players back,” do you like it”?

Clarke’s voice breaks her concentration, and she gives a slight nod not wanting to look away,” it is a good likeness”.

“I thought so too, it was too difficult to capture your face from memory so I figured this worked just as well”. 

“It’s impressive Clarke. I wasn’t aware of your painting abilities”.

In fact Lexa can’t recall ever hearing anything about Clarke having artistic talents. It wasn’t surprising, they were new to being friends, and there was plenty they didn’t know about each other. Still with the skill she obviously displayed it was surprising no one had ever mentioned it.

“I have lots of talents you don’t know about Lexa”. 

It silences her, at least for the moment. Taking another glance at the picture she smiles,” I would enjoy learning of these talents Clarke”. 

“Stick around long enough and I might let you”.

Lexa’s known she was in too deep since the party. Since before the party if she’s being honest, but it isn’t until she realizes she’s actually enjoying this. That she realizes just how deep in she’s managed to get herself.

“We’ve got time”, the words are quiet, and Clarke gives a quiet nod of agreement. Lexa pretends she doesn’t notice when Clarke reaches out to lace their fingers together, even when it feels like her heart is about to burst from her chest.


	3. Chapter 3

“What are you doing here”?

“It’s five am”.

“That was not the question Clarke”.

“You told me you always go running at five am, so I figured I’d join you today”.

Lexa bites back a smile, knowing it’ll only encourage Clarke’s competitive nature, and that is far from her intention. Although the idea of running with Clarke, who’s current clothing choice shows off her well-toned legs isn’t unpleasant one. 

“Why are you looking at me like that”, Lexa attempts to school her expression into a grimace at Clarke’s questioning glare, but it’s a weak one and Clarke’s giving her a knowing look. One Lexa has learned accompanies her more competitive moods.

“I just didn’t plan on having company. I can adjust my route accordingly”.

“I don’t mind. I can handle it. Let’s do your regular loop”.

It’s a lost cause and Lexa knows better than to argue. So she simply shrugs, defeated,” if you wish”.

Clarke mutters something under her breath, and it sounds a lot like, I’m going to wipe that smug look right off your face Heda. She figures it’s best not to comment. 

\-----

“We can slow down if you’d like”.

“Fuck you”.

“You should be focused on your breathing. Getting angry isn’t going to help”.

Lexa easily evades Clarke’s attempted swing at her shoulder,” extra steps are a waste of energy Clarke. Schooling your temper, and avoiding extra movements would make you a better runner”. 

“I’m going to kill you”.

“To kill me you’d need to catch me Clarke”, it’s easy to move ahead of Clarke, Lexa’s well practiced in this route, and her legs are used to a far more strenuous pace than she’s been maintaining.

It only takes her a few minutes to feign her own exhaustion for slowing down to an easier pace, so that she can return to running at Clarke’s side. Lexa has enough sense to pretend she doesn’t see the grateful look Clarke gives her.

\-----

“What did you do to her, princess looks like she was run over by a herd of moose”.

“I don’t believe that moose run in herds”, Lexa interjects, and is quickly silenced by the responding glare.

“Worse. Apparently she thought she would join Lexa for her morning run. I made that mistake once, never again.”

Lexa gives the blonde a sympathetic look before turning a displeased glare in Octavia’s direction,” maybe if you joined me more frequently you’d be a little faster in our games”.

Octavia feigns hurt, using it as an excuse to lean back into Raven,” I’ll have you know I’m in amazing shape, ask Raven, she can verify my amazing stamina better than anyone”.

“You should see her in action, she’s relentless”. 

“You two are disgusting”, Lexa gives a nod of agreement at the statement, and returns her gaze to Clarke.

“If it makes you feel better, I think you did well today”. 

“I think you’re just being nice but thank you”. 

Lexa offers a small smile waving the statement off,” I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t believe it was true. Lying to you does not benefit me Clarke.”

Clarke is quick to return the smile, and warmth floods through her again. 

“Stop making heart eyes at Clarke, and help me pick out something to watch”, it’s unsurprising that even unintentionally Octavia’s quick to end the moment.

\-----

It’s subtle but Lexa can feel Clarke’s slow shift towards Lexa’s proximity. If she’s being honest she’s not sure how to interpret Clarke’s actions. Octavia and Raven are completely wrapped up in their own world, Octavia as usual sitting in Raven’s lap while Raven wove intricate braids into her hair. Clarke on the other hand had chosen to sit directly next to Lexa on the couch instead of choosing one of the many other open places to sit.

“This movie is dreadful”, she mumbles darkly, pleased when Clarke lets out a quiet chuckle.

“What are you guys talking about? Silent Hill is a horror movie classic”, Octavia’s glare matches her tone and it does nothing to dissuade Clarke’s amusement.

“It’s not even scary”. 

Clarke nudges her leg a quiet rebuke, before leaving it on Lexa’s leg. Lexa’s not sure she remembers how to breathe. She can feel Clarke’s gaze heavy upon her, and it isn’t until Clarke’s sliding her hand away that Lexa moves to place a hand over Clarke’s giving it a reassuring squeeze. 

They remain like that, hands woven together, long after the movie ends.

\-----

Lexa’s not sure how the fire appeared in front of her. One second she’s turning on the stove to boil the water, and the next the surface of the pans has lit up with flames. It only takes her a moment to dump the liquid into the nearby sink, but it’s too late the stop the inevitable alarms from going off. Somehow Clarke’s already by her side covering her ears,” what the hell happened”?

“It caught on fire”.

“I can see that Lexa, the smoke made that rather obvious. How did you manage to catch water on fire”?

Lexa can’t think of a suitable response so she settles for a casual shrug as their teacher orders them to move towards the exit.

“From now on I’m doing all of the cooking lessons, and you can get the worksheets”.

“That would probably be for the best”. 

Lexa maintains a frown even after Clarke’s arm finds its way around her shoulders,” I’m sure it’s not the first time someone’s caught a pan on fire, and besides you make up for your atrocious cooking skills with other things”.

She hates the warmth that rushes through her at the compliment, and hates more so how easy it is to smile over at the blonde leaning into the embrace. 

\-----

“I hear you caught the entire school on fire”. 

“Just a pan, I think even it survived the encounter”. 

“How gracious of you to let it survive”.

Lexa feigns surprise when the next ball she kicks lands close to Octavia’s face. 

“Hey no cheap shots. It’s not my fault you’re so distracted by Clarke’s amazing beauty that you can’t focus on class”.

The next kick veers too far to the left and Lexa lets out an offended sigh,” can’t you mind your own business Octavia”?

“No, because as your best friend it’s my job to know everything that’s going on with you, and there’s been a surprisingly low amount of Clarke discussion these days. Also you two were totally cozying up to each other during the movie the other night, and I want to know what’s going on”.

“If there was anything worth talking about you’d be the first to know”.

“Are you sure”?

Lexa gives a solemn nod, before centering her focus solely on the goal and her feet. 

“Are you coming out with the team tonight?”

“I can’t I have plans”.

“With Clarke”?

Lexa’s look confirms Octavia’s suspicions but she’s smart enough not to comment, and Lexa wonders how long Octavia will stay placated by the minimal information she’s been giving her. Lexa wishes not for the first time that she actually had something worth telling Octavia.

\-----

“What’d you get for fifteen”? 

“Athena”.

“How do you do that?”

“Do what”?

“Memorize all of these stupid people, and who they supposedly were.”

“I have a photographic memory”, Lexa finally mumbles purposefully staring anywhere but Clarke’s gaze.

Clarke reaches over shoving the book down into Lexa’s lap. Lexa caves looking up with a disgruntled look, and Clarke doesn’t seem to care,” are you serious right now”?

Lexa stares seriously up at Clarke for a moment, then slowly breaks into a small smile shaking her head. 

“You’re an ass”, Lexa can’t help but chuckle as Clarke swats her arm sinking back into her original position, sprawled across Lexa’s bed.

“We should take a break”, the words surprise even Lexa but Clarke quickly surpasses her surprise giving a curt nod before shoving her books onto the floor,” I agree I need a break. I keep getting Athena and Aphrodite mixed up. I swear if I read one more word about Greek mythology my head might explode”. 

“That would be a shame, your head is quite aesthetically pleasing”.

“Wow really went out of your comfort zone for that one”. 

Her cheeks burn with embarrassment but she manages a dismissive shrug,” I try”.

\-----

Taking a break had quickly led into watching a movie. Unfortunately that movie was yet another shitty horror movie. To be fair Lexa was difficult to scare, and due to that hated most horror movies. 

Clarke on the other hand seemed to have a fascination with them, she claimed it wasn’t because they scared her, instead it was due to laughing at how idiotic the cast tended to be. Lexa wasn’t buying it, especially after for the third time in an hour Clarke had her forearm in a death grip.

“Here”, Lexa hesitates only for a moment before wrapping an arm around Clarke’s shoulder and allowing the blonde’s head to rest on her chest,” better?

“Much”, it’s nearly silent and Lexa’s starting to wonder if she imagined it but by the way Clarke’s clutching the front of her shirt and curving into her side is a good indicator that she’s equally pleased with their current position.

\-----

“I can’t believe I fell asleep”.

“It fine. It happens. Do you need to borrow clothes for today”?

“You really don’t mind”?

Lexa decides tossing a pair of jeans and one of her t-shirts is answer enough. 

“You’re a life saver”.

Lexa simply offers a smile, one that quickly fades at the easy way Clarke shucks her clothes from the previous day. It’s impossible to keep her eyes from dipping down, and Clarke meets her gaze with a knowing smirk,” see something you like”?

“I-“, her hand colliding with her shelf is enough to end the conversation, and she quickly flees the room before Clarke can say anything else. 

\-----

“I’ve definitely seen that shirt before”.

Lexa blatantly ignores the intense stare Octavia’s giving Clarke, who’s been doing her best to change the subject for the last ten minutes. 

“I’m sure there’s plenty of them out in the world”.

Octavia narrows her eyes, and Lexa knows they aren’t getting out of this situation. Once Octavia’s focused on something it’s impossible to take her mind off of it. 

“It’s Lexa’s”. 

She thinks better of aiming a kick in Raven’s direction and settles for a dark look, unsurprisingly Raven’s giving her the same steady shit faced grin she always does. 

“You’re absolutely right babe. That is Lexa’s shirt. Which is interesting because Clarke’s currently the one wearing it”.

“Friends borrow each other’s clothing”.

“Normal people but you’re usually dressed up like you’re going to a meeting with the president so why the wardrobe change today”?

Raven’s knowing smirk prevents any logical response either of them could muster,” unless you stayed over at Lexa’s place and just needed something to wear for the day”.

“That would be interesting. I mean you stay over every night, and we exchange clothes frequently but that’s because we’re dating”. 

Raven gives a nod of agreement before returning her gaze to Clarke, “Are you two dating”?

Lexa slams her knee into the bottom of the table in her haste to stand up,” you two are idiots”.

“I think we might have hit a nerve Octavia, she’s turning bright red. Do you think she’s just embarrassed that we’re on to something”? 

“Is this a bad time to mention that you get really hot when you’re sleeping”?

Lexa’s glare lands on Clarke, knowing it’d be a wasted effort to focus on ceasing Raven or Octavia laughing fit,” traitor”.

\-----

Lexa’s spent the last ten minutes perfecting the dark lines around her eyes. It’d taken some convincing to get refs to allow the face paint while the players warmed up, but as long as they removed it  
before the round, and it didn’t injure them it was allowed. It’d always been an intimidation factor, and Lexa was never one to abandon tradition. 

“Do you need help with that”?

It’s startling having Clarke here. This is usually Lexa’s small isolation, her fifteen minutes of solitude before she had to be the leader, and start warm ups. Still she turns to offer a Clarke a small smile before returning her gaze to the mirror,” I’m almost done. I appreciate the offer though”.

“Are you nervous”?

Lexa offers a questioning look, although she realizes it would probably be normal for her to feel nervous. It just wasn’t an emotion Lexa experienced frequently.

“They’re the second best team in the league, I wasn’t sure if you were nervous or worried about winning tonight”.

“No. We’ll beat them. We’re going to end the year undefeated”.

“You sound sure of yourself”.

“Why would I be anything else”?

Clarke smiles at this and Lexa offers one, despite being completely confused by whatever Clarke’s reasoning was. Setting the face paint to the side she turns to face Clarke taking in her nervous demeanor,” and you? You seem nervous”.

Clarke chuckles tucking her hands behind her back with a shrug,” I’m a little nervous.”

“Why? You aren’t competing tonight. It’s purely a cheering on night for you. That should be simple enough”.

“I’m nervous for you”.

“That is unnecessary”.

“I’m not as rational as you”.

Lexa nods in agreement. Letting out a quiet chuckle as she once again finds herself dodging Clarke’s swing at her shoulder,” you weren’t supposed to agree with that, ass”.

“I think we’ve passed the time for lies, and it is common knowledge logic is not your forte Clarke. Though being based in emotion is not necessarily a negative”. 

“For the most part no”.

Lexa tries to meet Clarke’s gaze, failing miserably and steps forward pressing a finger to her jaw. It seems ill-willed to force whatever Clarke’s thinking about out, so she simply waits. Waits until gorgeous blue eyes finally lock with her own. 

“Lexa-“. 

She waits, allowing Clarke to gather her thoughts. Except now Clarke’s leaning forward and it’s as if Lexa’s brain has once again been wiped clean, and she can’t help but press forward, ignoring the warning signs telling her to run in the opposite direction. 

It isn’t until long after she’s left the locker room. Long after Clarke’s pulled away, wishing her luck on her game. After even Octavia’s arrival informing her she needs to get on the field and start running drills that she processes what happened.

Clarke Griffin had kissed her. Sober and proper. It makes her far more nervous than any game ever could.

\-----

“That was amazing”. Octavia’s got her legs wrapped around Lexa’s waist and her arms around her neck. It’s a fairly common after-effect of winning a game, and Lexa’s gotten used to balancing the added weight.

“You performed well Octavia”. 

Octavia manages to drop gracefully to the ground shoving Lexa gently,” as if I ever lack in the performance area”. 

Lexa gently shoves her in return before another comment about her sex life can pop up. Octavia blows her a kiss and then she’s gone, most likely in search of her girlfriend. Irritatingly her own eyes dance to Clarke at the thought, admiring the blonde still cheering from the sidelines.

She’s debating making her way over when she see’s a player from the opposite team slam into Clarke. That’s enough to make up her mind.

“Watch where you’re going”.

The smile Clarke had been offering in her direction fades quickly into a dark scowl. A look Lexa knows far too well. She’s been on the receiving end of it more times than she can count.

“Are you blind? You’re the one who ran into me”.

Lexa grimaces and picks up the pace as the girl shoves Clarke once more, and before Clarke can retaliate she’s there grabbing the blonde’s arm,” it’s not worth it. Retaliating won’t do anyone any good. Walk away”. 

For once Clarke caves instantaneously, it’s relieving, and honestly Lexa’s just glad it didn’t escalate further. 

Lexa takes a moment to lean down and grab Clarke’s bag. Unfortunately her focus on the bag prevents her from seeing the foot rising dangerously quick towards her face, and the extremity connecting  
with her face sends her reeling.

Clarke’s there urgent and distressed. It’s overwhelming. It takes her a moment to process the blonde pressing a piece of clothing to her forehead, and somewhere in the distance she can hear a pissed off  
Octavia. A small piece of her is conscious enough to hope Raven’s preventing Octavia from doing anything rash.

“I’m going to kill her”, the words are hoarse and it takes an unsettling amount of time to realize the voice belongs to her. Clarke restrains her easily, hands pressing into her shoulders, and Lexa realizes she isn’t going anywhere anytime soon, so she settles for reclining back into the grass and focusing on the feeling of Clarke pressing against her.

“Stay down Lexa. I’ve got you”.

\----------------------

“That was stupid of you”.

“Thank you for your support Clarke.”

“You had to get stiches Lexa, if you hadn’t stepped in that wouldn’t have been the case. I can take care of myself”. 

Lexa finally looks up to meet Clarke’s gaze. It’s stony, and it reminds her of how Clarke looked at her before all of this. Before they had become friends. Before Clarke had kissed her. It hurts more than she’d care to admit.

“Fine”.

The hands that’ve been cleaning the last of the blood from her cheek stalls and Lexa’s gaze quickly return to looking anywhere but at those piercing blue orbs.

“Lexa-“.

She brushes Clarke’s hands from her face then, standing up and moving away from the contact,” don’t. You’ve made your opinion clear.”

“I didn’t mean-“.

“What did you mean”?

Lexa’s gaze is steel and she shrugs off Clarke’s attempts to move closer,” I just meant that you shouldn’t be so focused on me, it’s not like we’re dating”.

Clarke winces, and even Lexa flinches at the tone. 

“You’re right”, before Clarke can speak again Lexa retreats from the locker room.

\-----

Lexa’s unsurprised to see Octavia waiting just outside of the school looking worried.

“Are you-“?

“We’re leaving.”

“Is Clarke-“?

“We’re leaving Octavia”.

Lexa’s relieved when Octavia gives in, not questioning Lexa further. Lexa ignores the concerned looks she receives the entire drive home.

\-----

“She seems like she’s really sorry Lexa. I don’t know what happened with you two, but I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.”

“Clarke doesn’t need you to fight her battles Octavia”.

“I’m not. I’m just saying. Raven says she’s been really upset ever since you two stopped talking”.

“That isn’t my concern”.

“Isn’t it”?

Lexa slams her locker, harder than necessary,” no. Why would it be? It’s not like we’re dating”. 

Her tones a hiss, and the last few words are venomous. She misses the knowing look Octavia gives her, choosing to focus on departing her locker as quickly as possible. 

She tries to play it off as unavoidable to let her gaze linger on Clarke’s locker, and the way the blonde in question is staring, longingly at that. Pretends it’s easy to walk away, as if every fiber of her being isn’t screaming for her to go back.

\-----

“So you’re just going to ignore me”?

“I’m not ignoring you. I simply have nothing to say”.

“I said I was sorry Lexa.”

“I’m not sure how that’s pertinent to the class discussion”.

\--------------

_Are you coming tomorrow – Octavia_

_Will Clarke Be there? – Lexa_

_Yes but you don’t have to talk to her. It’s going to be a big party so you two shouldn’t even need to interact – Octavia_

_I’ll think about it. – Lexa_

\--------------

“Can you drive me?”

“Why can’t you drive yourself?”

“Because Raven took the car home already, and I don’t want to ask her to come all the way back down here.”

“I still have to change”.

“Perfect I can help you pick out something decent”.

“Why do you two act like I can’t pick out my own clothes? What’s wrong with my fashion sense”?

Octavia’s eyes flicker down to her current outfit, before giving her a skeptical look.

Lexa gaze mirrors Octavia’s, taking in her ratty sweats and oversized t-shirt,” you may have a point”.

“Of course I do. I’m always right”.

“Over-confidence-“.

“- is not the product of a strong mind, you’ve already given me the spiel”.

“I was simply-“.

“Can it Lexa”.

\-----

“Maybe I’ll just go home”. 

It’s reminiscent of two weekends ago, and Lexa can’t help but think she’s been stuck in a loop. Octavia sitting in the passenger seat giving her an impatient look, and her stomach doing flips at the idea of entering the party.

“I thought you weren’t afraid of anything”.

The difference this time is the throbbing lights and low thrum of bass is exponentially more present, and even now she can see the increased populace of the house.

“Who said anything about being scared”?

“Well what else is keeping you from going inside”?

“Avoiding uncomfortable situations. It’s a fair enough reason not to want to enter your home, and it has nothing to do with being scared”.

“Doesn’t it”?

It’s frustrating that her pride is enough to motivate her into doing things. Octavia’s been using it against her for years, and she’d never manage to overcome the challenge in Octavia’s words. 

“Fine I’ll go in”.

“Finally”.

\-------------

It’s pleasantly crammed once she finally reaches the inside, she doesn’t have Octavia’s skill when it comes to navigating through crowds. The living room has been converted into some kind of makeshift dance floor, and the kitchen filled with makeshift beer pong tables. It’s overwhelming, and yet just enough to take the edge off. 

“I was wondering if you were ever going to come in”, she makes a deliberate effort not to flinch at the hand colliding with her shoulder. Raven’s eyes have already taken on a bleary quality and Lexa wonders how many drinks she’s downed in their absence. 

“Octavia’s difficult to refuse”.

“Isn’t that the truth”?

As if sensing her name Octavia reappears two red cups in hand and offers one to Lexa who’s quick to take it,” did I hear my name? You two talking shit again”?

“Of course not, I would never say anything bad about you gorgeous”, Raven mumbles wrapping her arms tightly around Octavia’s middle. 

“You’re so full of shit Reyes, you’re only this sweet when you’re drunk”, Octavia’s fondness leaks into the words and Lexa grimaces when she leans down to kiss her girlfriend.

It’s sweet really, but it’s the opposite of what Lexa wants to be around. 

“I’m going to go sit”.

It’s simple getting away from them, and for that she’s grateful. Somehow she manages to migrate through the crowd towards the couches. It’s unfair that she finds Clarke in the crowd before she’s managed to take even a sip. She looks radiant as ever and unsurprisingly Bellamy’s at her side looking ever the smug self-righteous ass that Lexa believes him to be. 

Clarke seems to sense that she’s being stared at and she makes eye contact before Lexa can fully disappear in the crowd. Clarke stiffens as if she’s restraining herself from following Lexa into the crowd, and then she’s gone, disappearing behind the sea of bodies and Lexa tries to forget that she ever wanted to cross the room.

\-----

“Do you want to dance”?

The girl has had her hand on Lexa’s thigh for the better half of an hour and she’s leaning in far too close to be friendly, and yet Lexa doesn’t withdraw. The girl in question is attractive, not Clarke attractive, but attractive, and the three drinks she’s consumed have removed her ability to discern good ideas from poor ones. Honestly she can’t remember how the girl came to be at her side, but at this rate she’s nowhere near caring.

“Sure”. A hand is quick to bring her to her feet, and the girl-, Echo if she remembers correctly is drawing her back into the throes of people. It’s too easy for her eyes to find Clarke’s form once again. This time she’s pressed against Bellamy, dancing. The sight fills her with something akin to rage.

“If you want to make her jealous you’re going to have to stop staring”, Echo’s words force Lexa’s gaze away and she instead turns her focus on the girl in front of her. Confusion racks through her, but she figures she hasn’t exactly been subtle in her staring. 

“Much better”, Lexa forces herself to return Echo’s smile, and somehow her hands find the other girl’s waist as she presses against her.

It’s easy then. Pretending she could want to be doing this with anyone but Clarke. The liquor, music, and the feeling of having another person pressed against her is enough to make her forget. If even just for a moment. 

“Do you have any other advice”, she makes sure to lean in so her lips are almost against Echo’s ear and she withdraws quickly, her lips turning up into a smirk. 

Echo’s eyes shift to gaze at something behind Lexa and she grin’s her own hands finding the back of Lexa’s neck,” I may have something in mind”.

It’s a bad idea. Lexa can already see Echo’s end goal, feel her lean further into Lexa’s personal space, and see the way her eyes are locked onto Lexa’s lips. Still Lexa doesn’t make a move to stop the action. Clarke had made it clear that they had no moral obligation to one another.

“Mind if I cut in”, the words are punctuated by the feeling of hands on her hips, and Echo stops her slow progression forward, frowning ever so slightly,” If you insist”.

“I do”.

Clarke’s pressed fully against Lexa’s back, and somehow she’s transitioned Lexa into a rhythm completely set by the blonde.

“I didn’t know you liked dancing”.

Lexa forces her hands to unclench as she watched Echo disappear into the crowd and presses back into Clarke,” I didn’t know you cared what I liked”.

The hands tighten briefly before she’s being spun around and pulled back into Clarke’s proximity,” don’t. You know that I care, a lot. Don’t act like I haven’t tried to apologize for the other night, or that what I said changes how I feel”.

Lexa winds her arms around Clark’s neck and presses against Clarke, angrily almost, swaying to the music,” where’s Bellamy? It looked like you two were having a good time”.

“Bellamy was keeping me company because I was upset, don’t change the subject”.

“I never said he was serving any other purpose”.

“You implied it”.

“That’s your interpretation”.

Clarke’s giving her that familiar scowl, and Lexa’s expression probably mirrors it,” you don’t get to judge anyone right now. You were all over that girl Lexa”.

“Technically she was all over me, and besides I thought we weren’t dating Clarke, so what does it matter”?

The hands on her hips tighten once more, and then she’s being dragged through the crowd again. She’s fairly confident she spots Octavia in the midst of people giving her a questioning look. It’s not like Lexa would even know how to explain this even if she tried.

\-----

Clarke punctuates the slamming of the coat closet door, by slamming Lexa into the nearest wall. Clarke looks like she’s torn between kissing her and tearing her apart, and Lexa’s not sure they’re entirely different at this point.

“I care Lexa. I care a lot you exasperating idiot”.

“I don’t get why you’re angry Clarke, I’ve-“, Clarke’s lips crash into hers then. It’s hot and fast, and nothing like their slow kiss in the locker room. Lexa can’t bring herself to pull away, can’t bring herself to remember why she should know better.

Clarke pulls away just as quickly giving her another longing look, “I want this Lexa, but I don’t want to ruin us.”

Lexa opens her eyes hesitantly, meeting those brilliant blue orbs before offering a shrug,” sometimes you have to risk something you care about to get to something better. I’m not promising that this would even work. I’m not even sure I’m ready for a relationship, but I’m sick of being in limbo with you. So we need to decide what we’re going to do.” 

“I thought you didn’t relationships”?

“I think you’re worthy of being an exception”.

“Always so complimentary”.

“Shut up Clarke”.

Lexa sees the flash, the challenge in Clarke’s eyes and suddenly they’re kissing again. It’s a weakness. How easy it is to fall into Clarke. The way that despite her words, she’s desperate for Clarke to take her offer. For Clarke to make an exception for Lexa.

It’s a weakness that she’s never been so ready to submit to.

\----------------

“Stop doing it in my coat closet and get out here”. 

Lexa’s quick to jump from straddling Clarke’s lap, and blushes at the amused look Clarke’s giving her. 

“Fuck off Octavia, we were just talking,” Clarke’s voice is unsteady, and Lexa finds it uncharacteristically pleasing.

“Come on we better get out there before she barges in”, Lexa holds out a hand and Clarke’s quick to accept the offer, allowing Lexa to pull her to her feet.

They move in synch then, attempting to sort out each other’s clothes and hair, Lexa knows there’s marks on her neck, and Clarke’s lips are swollen, in a way that screams, I just made out with one of my best friends in my other friends closet for an hour, but there isn’t much they can do about it now.

“You have three seconds before I open the door Lexa. 1…”

Lexa opens the door fighting a smile at the way Octavia stumbles in,” it’s dangerous to lean all of your weight on a door Octavia. You need to work on your footing”.

Raven’s standing further back giving them both knowing looks, and Octavia’s eyes are narrowed in distrust,” you two were just talking huh”?

“We were. In fact I’d like to get back to that discussion so if you don’t mind we’re gonna head upstairs”, Clarke doesn’t wait for a response, and Lexa wonders when she became okay with being dragged around all the time. She takes a moment to glance back at the couple and is pleased to see them already retreating towards Octavia’s room. Raven pulling Octavia with a suggestive grin, she’ll have to thank her for the distraction later.

\---------

“We should probably go downstairs and face them”.

Lexa runs her fingers through Clarke’s hair keeping her gaze on the ceiling,” if you believe we must”.

“Waiting won’t make it any easier”.

“You’re right. The longer we wait the more unbearable Octavia will be”.

She feels a hand on her chin and obliges lowering her chin so Clarke can lean up to give her a chaste kiss. Smiling when Clarke’s fingers trail a line underneath her stiches soothingly.

“So should we tell them we’re dating”, the words slip out and Lexa’s gaze is quick to return to the ceiling. They’d spent most of last night making out, and sleeping. Discussing what this meant for them hadn’t really come up, and Lexa didn’t want to face anyone until she knew exactly where they stood.

“Well that’s what we’re doing right”?

Clarke’s words are confident, and it brings a smile to Lexa’s lips,” I suppose we are”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of the feedback! Feel free to come bug me on clexaskimmons.tumblr.com if you guys have any questions, or just generally want to come talk to me about this fic. Sorry there was such a gap between the 2nd and 3rd chapter, life got a little hectic. Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter!


	4. Chapter 4

“So let me make sure I’ve got this all straight. To start you two broke conduct by having a tryst in the locker rooms, then you defiled my coat closet, and now you’ve made the executive decision to date”?

Clarke’s resounding silence is a shock considering the exasperated look she’s shooting in Octavia’s direction, and Lexa is slow to realize she’s the one who’s been nominated to address Octavia. Their friend had ushered them onto the couch the second they’d made the mistake of going downstairs and had been pacing in front of them ever since. Raven on the other hand had simply been staring smugly at the couple for the entire exchange. 

“I mean-“.

“I mean have you two even thought about this? If you two implode it’ll completely ruin the dynamic of this group. I for one don’t want to revert to you two awkwardly avoiding one another.” 

Clarke’s exasperation has turned to irritation and Lexa can’t help but understand where she’s coming from,” Octavia I believe as my best friend it is your job to be supportive. Clarke and I are adults, or rather we’re young adults. The point being that we’re capable of making our own choices. You should respect that.”

It’s silent then, and Lexa fights a smile when Clarke’s hand slides into place over her own. The silence only lasts a few moments longer and then Octavia’s grinning bounding over to where the couple is sitting and sprawling out over their laps,” that’s all I needed to hear. I’m so stoked you two finally got your shit together”.

“Are you serious? You mean the last twenty minutes was just some stupid charade”?

“What can I say, driving you two nuts is one of my favorite past times. Besides I did want to make sure you two had really thought about this. Plus it’s an easy transition into me threatening Clarke’s livelihood if she ever hurts you”.

Shoving at her best friend Lexa’s gaze meets Raven’s and they exchange a silent grin.

“Come on Raven get in on this action”.

Raven’s quick to comply, throwing herself onto Octavia, and jostling the couple once again.

“You two are the absolute worst”.

\----------

“So we’re in agreement then? We’re not going to wait or make any big announcement we’re just going to be casually out as a couple”?

Lexa gives a curt nod not bothering to look up from the book she’d been studying for the last hour. It isn’t until Clarke smacks her over the head with a pillow that she tears her attention away from the material returning Clarke’s annoyed look,” what was that for”?

“At least try to look a little happy about it Lexa.”

“I am very glad that we are going to be the new power couple of the school. It absolutely thrills me”, she manages lamely.

Clarke is quick to succumb to laughter and Lexa humors her with a small smile,” well I guess that settles the debate on who would be the better cheerleader. Your enthusiasm leaves a lot to be desired.” 

“I wasn’t aware that we were still competing”.

“Only when I’m the one winning”.

\----------

“You need to relax”. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”.

Clarke’s giving her a rather unimpressed look and Lexa would’ve laughed if she didn’t feel so- well so unrelaxed. 

“I know you better than you think”.

“I’m fine Clarke.” 

Maintaining her detached expression only becomes more difficult when Clarke enters her proximity. Fingers ghost across her jaw and it’s hard not to cave.

“Just tell me”.

Embarrassment runs through her hot and quick, wrecking any chance of giving into Clarke’s wishes. Instead she stiffens brushing the affronting fingers from her face,” I’m fine Clarke. I’ll see you in class”.

\----------

It isn’t until well into her first class that she realizes she’s overreacted. Lexa had spent the morning avoiding any and all contact with Clarke. It isn’t so much a personal choice so much as it’s a habit. A poor once established by Costia.

“So why are you icing out Clarke? Last night you two lovebirds were disgustingly cute and now she says you’re about as warm as the artic”. 

Raven never did have the best timing. 

“Who says I’m icing her out”?

It was unfortunate that they’d spent enough time together that Raven’s able to see right through her. 

“Look if this is about Co-. If you think that Clarke’s going to freak out about being openly out with you, you really need to get your shit together. Telling everyone was her idea. If she had doubts she would’ve never considered the idea”.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Raven”.

Raven doesn’t linger, she’d never been one to dish out comfort where she didn’t feel it was deserved. Instead she levels Lexa with another unimpressed look before returning to her own table. 

Far be it from Lexa to admit that for once Raven might have a point.

\----------

“I’m sorry”. 

Clarke doesn’t look up from her book and Lexa knows she’s earned this. So she swallows her pride and takes the empty seat beside her girlfriend. 

“I wasn’t thinking earlier. I was being illogical. My actions had nothing to do with you, they were my own and they were foolish”. 

Clarke remains impassive and Lexa frowns, unsure of how to proceed.

It’s only after a noticeably uncomfortable amount of silence that she proceeds,” do you accept my apology? I can try again later, with additives such as chocolates or flowers? I’m not certain as to what you’re partial to but I’m sure I could find something suitable”. 

This seems to weaken Clarke’s resolve and she turns to look at Lexa,” look how you acted earlier was unacceptable. I get that you’ve got the whole quiet badass thing going for you but you have to talk to me. If somethings up just tell me, otherwise I feel like I did something wrong”.

Another pause and Lexa isn’t sure how to fill it this time.

“Even though we both know that’s impossible because I never screw up”.

The silence is broken and Lexa relents to a quiet laugh and Clarke’s quick to break after that offering a grin. 

It fades quickly as she shoves Lexa’s shoulder allowing her hand to run down to Lexa’s leg,” all joking aside next time you decide to be an ass give me some kind of heads up.”

Lexa returns to a solemn expression and nods seriously,” I will do my best to alert you to my next negative mood”.

It isn’t until they’re leaving class an hour later that Lexa scowls turning to face Clarke,” you think me to be an ass”?

\----------

“You’ll be back out there before you know it”.

Lexa ignores the comment continuing to glare at the rest of the soccer team while they run through the drills she’d lined up for them.

“Glaring at them isn’t going to motivate them to work any harder”. 

It’s subconscious, running her fingers over the bandage covering her stitches. The doctor had cleared her to play by the next game, but it had been strongly recommended she take a couple days off from strenuous activity. It had taken Clarke all of two minutes to forcefully remove her from practicing. 

“Lexa”, it isn’t until her girlfriend shoves her that she relents glancing at the blonde.

“What”?

“Octavia’s got it covered. Why don’t you come home with me? We can work on that history project? Maybe get in a workout of our own”?

It’s a tempting offer. One she’s inclined to accept. Except- There’s the whole physical aspect, and even though she knows this isn’t a repeat of her last relationship it’s enough to send her brain into a negative spiral.

“I do need to work on the project. So long as you’ll allow studying to occur that sounds fine”.

Clarke’s eying her curiously, and Lexa can’t quite identify the emotion behind it. . Something between confused and concerned, still she nods wrapping an arm around Lexa’s shoulder,” I promise I’ll do my best not to be a huge distraction”.

“I’ll do my best to be immune to your charms”.

\----------

“Can we take at least a five minute break”?

It’s been the same line Clarke’s been using for the last hour, and Lexa has somehow managed to effectively persuade her to persevere until now. Even she’s feeling the wear of staring at the small text for an extended time. 

“Let’s just finish the chapter”.

Clarke shakes her head. Indignant. 

“The page”?

Another shake of the blonde’s head, and this time it’s emphasized by the slow retrieval of Lexa’s book before Clarke’s tossing it onto the ground.

“I am fully capable of putting away my book Clarke”.

“Shut up Lexa”.

“Make me”. 

It’s cliché and stupid, and Lexa knows she’s set herself up for this. Clarke’s taken on her usual competitive expression, and her proximity makes Lexa’s head spin dangerously. 

“Fine”.

Lexa doesn’t bother resisting, instead she allows Clarke to move forward settling comfortably in her lap, fingers dancing against Lexa’s collar bone.

“I see you’re slow in this department too”. 

Clarke scowls,” I guess I should just be happy you’re finally loosening up”.

“Loose would be a poor word use in this instance...” 

The thought ends as quickly as it began as soon as Clarke brushes her lips against her own. It’s incredibly frustrating that a simple brush of her lips is enough to send Lexa’s mind into a tailspin. 

It isn’t until Clarke’s marked a trail down to Lexa’s neck that Clarke’s attentions register. The blonde’s hands have already found their way into Lex’s shirt slipping along the contours of her stomach, and her lips have found a spot on Lexa’s neck that is dangerously distracting. It’s all too much, and not enough.

Somehow her hands manage to find Clarke’s and she ceases their movement gently,” Clarke we should be studying”.

The reaction is immediate and icier that Lexa’s grown accustomed to. The hands withdraw rapidly and Clarke’s on the other side of the bed before Lexa’s brain can comprehend the action. The expression she receives is a familiar one. One laced with frustration and maybe a hint of anger. Lexa’s will diminishes quickly.

“Clarke”.

Nothing. Simply icy silence.

“Clarke look at me”. 

Blue orbs finally disengage from their silent staring contest with the ground and Lexa gives a sympathetic look placing her hand delicately on Clarke’s leg,” I did not mean that as a rejection. Simply a statement. You are rather distracting and I wouldn’t want that to impact our grades. We have an academic position to maintain after all”.

This seems to have less affect that Lexa would’ve liked so she shifts to be the one to initiate a kiss this time. It’s quick and chaste but seems to be enough to release the tension from Clarke’s shoulders.

“You may have a point”.

This earns the blonde a smile, and Lexa remembers how easy it would be to fall into old patterns with Clarke. She won’t allow that to be the case.

“I tend to always be right”.

Clarke rolls her eyes, and playfully shoving Lexa. Lexa simply allows it reclining against the headboard. Clarke follows and before Lexa can protest places her head in Lexa’s lap after retrieving their books.

“I’m feeling generous so I’m going to let you win that one”.

Lexa’s fingers are already busy weaving golden locks into an intricate braid much like her own and she manages a quiet hum of agreement. 

Clarke makes admitting to her mistakes seem almost enjoyable.

\----------

“My parents want you to come over for dinner”.

The words fill Lexa with an unfamiliar dread, meeting the parents is a foreign concept to her. Well at least in a dating sense. Her previous relationship had never encompassed traditional dating milestones. 

“They want me to come over for dinner”?

Clarke seems hell bent on blazing through Lexa’s uncomfortable demeanor and simply nods grinning widely as if it were the most normal occurrence in the world.

“As in formally meeting me as your girlfriend”?

The smile diminishes slightly and she’s nodding again reaching out the lace their fingers together with a practiced ease,” yes as in they want to meet my girlfriend so they have a face to match with all of the nice things I tell them. I promise it’ll be fun, or at least tolerable. My mom’s actually a decent cook, and my dad’s a total teddy bear. You’re going to love them”.

A pause then and Clarke’s smile is back to its usual brilliance,” if you can put up with his teasing and jokes that is. He’s only about half as funny as he thinks he is. Also I should probably just apologize in advance for him attempting to give you the talk. I promise he’s about as threatening as a teddy bear”.

It’s a new kind of system overload for Lexa and she’s not sure how to respond. Somehow she finds herself nodding and offering a tight lipped smile, which only bolsters Clarke’s enthusiasm. 

“Tomorrow? Seven o’clock”?

“That soon?”

She catches herself before Clarke’s excitement can diminish,” yes that sounds fine”.

“Great, I’ll let them know you’re coming. They’re going to be excited. I’ll see you tomorrow morning”?

Lexa’s nodding again and she’s grateful for whatever autopilot response she’s taken on. 

Clarke’s gone as quickly as she appeared and the only proof of their exchange is the warmth emitting from the place Lexa’s cheeks. A symptom only Clarke seems to expose.

\----------

“What the hell are you wearing?”

It’s enough to shatter Lexa’s thin veil of confidence in her wardrobe choice. To be fair she was working with a limited collection and the plaid sweater was far from her usual apparel choice.

“I thought it looked professional”.

“You’re meeting your girlfriend’s parents, not going to a business meeting”.

It’s less harsh that the reaction she would’ve gotten from Octavia and Raven, and for a moment Lexa’s almost grateful it’s her sister intervening this time. Almost.

“Well do you have any other ideas or are you just planning on criticizing all of mine”?

Anya grins and suddenly Lexa is filled with regret.

Her sister disappears into the closet far too quickly for her liking, but she’s out of options and it’s true that Lexa’s wardrobe choices have never been quote up to par. The exception being anything scholastic or business related. 

“Here try this”. 

Lexa frowns at the khakis being flung in her general direction and lets out a disgruntled huff as she complies with the order. A button up is quick to follow and soon enough she’s wearing the designated outfit.

“Perfect”.

“Are you sure it doesn’t come off as a little too-“

“Gay? I hate to inform you of this Lexa but you are a homosexual”.

“I just don’t want her parents to get the wrong idea”.

Anya closes in on her, and before she can protest her collars being tugged into place,” you look great Lexa. Just try and relax. They’re going to love you. All parents do”. 

“I doubt I’ll be anything close to relaxed this evening. I’ll do my best to attempt it”. 

Anya nods and her hands still on Lexa’s shoulders,” we should do dinner. See if mom and dad wouldn’t make a special trip home just to meet your lady friend”.

“I doubt it. They’ve hardly been home in the last year”.

“Let me worry about that. You just ask Clarke if she’s free for dinner sometime next week and I’ll take care of the rest”. 

Maybe Anya had some redeeming qualities.

\----------

“Stop fidgeting”.

Clarke’s hand finds her own and it forces a stop to her futile fidgeting. 

“They’re going to love you, so why don’t you just relax”.

There’s no room for questioning the order and so she simply nods, drawing strength from Clarke’s hand in hers. 

It isn’t the first time she’s walked into Clarke’s home, but it suddenly seems foreign and unfamiliar to her. It’s the first time Clarke’s parents have been around during her visits. It had been an unspoken agreement that they both understood the concept of hardly present families.

They enter without knocking and they’ve hardly stepped through the doorway before Clarke’s parents have swooped in. 

“You must be Lexa we’ve heard so much about you”. 

Mrs. Griffin- no Abby, as she insists on being called reminds Lexa of Clarke. Although it’s soon obvious which Griffin Clarke favors, in looks and preference.

There’s a fair amount of hand shaking before the couple manage to lure Lexa into a hug. 

“We’ve heard a lot about you. Here’s to seeing if you live up to all of the praise Clarke’s been giving you”, Jake’s voice is loud and light. It’s obvious that it’s meant to be a joke, teasing Lexa out of her tense demeanor, but it only seems to further her tense composure.

She once again attempts a decent handshake before she’s being pulled into another hug by Abby.

“It’s nice to meet both of you. Clarke’s spoken of you often. Always in a positive sense of course”. 

Lexa can feel Clarke pressing into her side. A reassurance in the frenzied atmosphere. 

“Well let’s not stand here awkwardly in the foyer. Dinners already of the table, and thankfully my wife is a far better cook than I could ever hope to be”.

Lexa manages a tense smile as she follows 

“You’re doing great Lexa”.

She wishes she could buy into the statement.

\----------

Dinner seems to pass by in a flash, while simultaneously being the longest dinner Lexa’s ever attended. It goes smoothly, at least it does to the best of Lexa’s knowledge. Clarke’s parents seem appeased by their daughter’s choice, and Lexa finds Clarke’s parents to be more than tolerable in terms of company.

It isn’t until after they’ve managed to retreat to Clarke’s bedroom that she feels the last of the tension dissipate from her body, and Clarke seems to share her relief. 

“I told you they’d like you”.

“I simply did not want to make assumptions”. 

“Well I really appreciate you doing this. It means a lot to me”.

Clarke softens at that giving her a sympathetic smile. As if she somehow senses how uncomfortable Lexa is with the situation. As if a part of her somehow understands the invisible scars Costia’s left her with. Much like the dread in Lexa’s gut the looks pass quickly from Clarke’s face. That more than anything convinces her Clarke must be privy to some information Lexa is hiding. 

“I forgot to mention it earlier. How would you feel about having a similar dinner with my family? It’s unlikely that the meal will be as adequate in taste, and the conversation certainly won’t be as lively but I believe they would enjoy meeting you”.

The smile returns, and this one is unbridled and free, unburdened from whatever knowledge Clarke’s burying for Lexa’s sake.

“I would love to meet your family.” 

\----------

“They aren’t coming”.

Anya doesn’t need to say it. The angry method in which she’d slammed the phone down made it clear how the overall conversation had gone.

“They’re stuck in Chicago until next week, and then they’re flying straight to Madrid”.

Lexa’s already tuned out the disheartening excuses. They were even less convincing second hand.

“Its fine, I’ll just tell Clarke something came up and we’ll have to do it another time”. 

“Don’t”. 

It’s firm and more stubborn than Lexa’s seen her sister be in months.

“I mean you shouldn’t cancel. We should do dinner the three of us. It’s not as formal as dinner with mom and dad but I’d still like to officially meet your girlfriend. I’ve only ever seen her while she’s sneaking in after school or fleeing in the mornings because you two are running late”.

Anya’s managed to close the distance between them and Lexa forces herself not to withdraw. It’s admirable, the effort Anya’s making for this to be some semblance of normal. To pretend that their home life is anything less than detrimental. It would be rude to ignore that.

“Okay”.

Anya seems as surprised as Lexa feels at the easy acceptance.

“Okay”?

Lexa nods,” okay we’ll have dinner. Just the three of us”.

Anya brightens instantaneously, and soon she’s off on a tirade about dishes she can prepare, and it seems too cruel even for Lexa to even suggest someone else doing the cooking.

\----------

“You look nervous”.

Clarke rolls her eyes, and it’s obvious when her hand finds Lexa’s that she’s the one in need of support this time around. 

“Like you’re one to talk. I thought you were going to flee the scene when you met my parents. It was incredibly out of character for you”.

“I wasn’t scared. I simply wanted to make a good impression”. 

“Admit it you were terrified”.

Lexa pulls them to a stop offering a grim expression,” I fear nothing Clarke.” 

Clarke breaks into a grin hands resting along Lexa’s shoulder,” you’re a terrible liar Lexa”.

A smirk betrays Lexa, and she leans forward to kiss Clarke before the blonde can draw any more information from her. 

“Alright you two. Save the R rated stuff for after dinner”.

Anya always did have impeccable timing.

It’s hard not to find the introductions amusing, Clarke’s never been such a vibrant shade of red before, and it’s rare that Anya’s ever taken this much interest in someone Lexa’s known before. Excluding Octavia but that was to be expected.

“I hope everything tastes okay. I’m not really a chef but I wanted dinner to at least be homemade.”

The food is dished out and Lexa realizes very quickly that whatever Anya had cooked is far from edible. She waits to say anything not wanting to discourage her sister. It isn’t until Clarke’s respectfully force fed herself for a few minutes, and Anya’s grown increasingly downtrodden that she knows she needs to break the tension. 

“This isn’t the worst thing you’ve ever cooked”. 

It’s a weak attempt at a compliment but it’s enough. Anya seems to relax visibly, and her laughter is soon joined by her own and Clarke’s. 

“I’m serious. Compared to your attempted turkey last year this is exquisite. I thought that bird was on the verge of still being able to walk off the plate”. 

Anya tosses a charred roll and Lexa deflects it easily.

“Don’t let Lexa give you too much guff. She somehow managed to catch a boiling pot of water on fire”. 

“I’m fairly certain not being able to cook runs in the family. I don’t think I’ve ever seen our parents even enter the kitchen. I’m not surprised Lexa inherited that trait”.

Lexa scowls at the pair shrugging,” well Clarke is an excellent cook. Maybe next time we should have her arrange a meal for us”. 

Clarke’s hand slides along her leg and Lexa’s caught off guard by the genuine happiness she sees in Clarke’s expression.

“I would really like that. Maybe when your parents get back from their trip I could make dinner for everyone. You can help if you promise not to do any actual cooking”.

The offer shocks her, but in a pleasant way. It’s an offer no one’s ever made, and one that isn’t likely to occur due to her parent’s avoidance of home but it’s a sweet gesture. One that Lexa appreciates more than she can say.

“I swear on my life. I won’t attempt to cook”.

“Well that’s a fair trade because if you did cook it’d be a risk to ours”. 

Clarke can’t help but laugh as she easily deflects the next roll being thrown in her direction.

\----------

Lexa makes an excuse to hang back after Clarke’s gone upstairs to change. They’d decided it was best to simply order a pizza and spend the rest of the evening watching a movie. Anya had dutifully started gathering plates, with a rather somber expression as soon as the pair had disappeared.

“Thank you”.

Anya’s startled, that much is obvious and Lexa can’t blame her. They’d always had a close relationship. Validation and praise just wasn’t a frequent part of it. 

“I’m serious. You didn’t have to participate in this. You weren’t obligated. So thank you for making this happen”.

She knows it’s going to happen before Anya decides it herself, but she lets herself go willingly into this hug. “You’re welcome. I promise next time we’ll just order in.” 

It isn’t until she sees a flash that she realizes she’s still hugging Anya. Clarke’s giving them both a mischievous grin holding the phone proudly,” oh I’m so framing that. Who knew Lexa was such a softy”? 

Lexa breaks the contact quickly and manages to throw Clarke over her shoulder before her girlfriend can react,” if you tell anyone about that hug I’m going to drop you into the pool”.

“You wouldn’t dare”.

She misses the fond look Anya gives them as she jogs towards the pool, Clarke’s loud swearing filling her ears.

\----------

“Are you ready for tonight”?

“Which part? The game or this double date you three insist needs to happen right after the game”?

“Both obviously”, Octavia finally chips in slinging her arm around Lexa’s shoulders.

“Don’t let her fool you, she’s excited to hang out with all of us”, Clarke answers for her and Lexa’s frown deepens at the antics.

“You should all be more focused on the game tonight. The polar bears are in the top five teams”.

“We’ll destroy them. People who refer to themselves as the ice nation are too stupid to come close to beating us”. 

Lexa can’t help but bump her shoulder into Octavia’s throwing her off balance,” well you’re one to talk, you look like you can hardly keep on your feet”. 

The responding bump is far less polite.

“We’ll just see about who can’t stay on their feet during the game. You’re the one with an injury”. 

Clarke’s lips press just below Lexa’s bandaged face and it forces a smile from her,” this is hardly a scratch”.

\----------

“I hate the Ice Nation”.

“I thought they were going to be an easy win.”

“We hardly even scraped by with a win”.

Disappointment. That sums up her general feelings on the match, and the feeling seems to be shared by her teammates. 

“Well hey guys, at least these ones didn’t start a brawl after losing”. 

Octavia’s never been a master at diffusing situations.

“I think it may still be too soon to joke about that”, Lexa responds patting her friends shoulder.

“I know that look Lexa, and there’s no bailing out of tonight. I’d say there’s even more reason to do it now. So go find Clarke and I better see your asses at the house in the next half hour”.

Normally Lexa wouldn’t stoop to Octavia’s level but it feels satisfying when she flips her friend off, even more so when Octavia sticks her tongue out in Lexa’s direction before disappearing from the locker room.

\----------

“I thought you guys wanted to drink, not give us alcohol poisoning”.

Lexa’s gaze dances across the array of bottles lining the counter with a grimace. 

“You’ll be fine, I’m sure Clarke could handle half of that just by herself.” 

“Fuck off Reyes”. 

Lexa can’t help but smile as Clarke leans into her, and quickly wraps an arm protectively around the blonde,” I have yet to see you intoxicated, or rather more intoxicated than myself”.

“That’s because you’re going on maybe your third time ever drinking with us, and you have tendency to overestimate your abilities”.

Lexa can feel her cheeks burn, but Clarke nestling further into the embrace is a good distraction from the teasing. 

“So what are we consuming first? I’m thinking maybe Jack?” 

The three more experienced drinkers are quick to jump in with opinions and Lexa leaves them to it, choosing instead to simply rest her chin on Clarke’s shoulder and block out their two best friends.

Eventually they seem to sort out the matter themselves and she does her best not to grimace at the concoction they offer her. 

“You’re such a lightweight”, Lexa rolls her eyes at Clarke taking a larger pull from her drink.

“It’s not a terribly bad thing. Getting drunk for me is cost effective”. 

“Cheers to that”, Raven cries leaning forward to slam her drink against Lexa’s. 

The attempt to simply watch a movie fails quickly, and Lexa isn’t surprised. Octavia and Raven have always been more active drunks, and now that Clarke seems to be teetering on the border between tipsy and drunk she can tell the trio have quite a bit in common in their drunken states. 

“I have an idea”.

“Don’t you always Reyes”.

Octavia throws a pillow at her before Raven can move to defend herself, and Lexa bats it away carefully. 

“AS I was saying before Lexa so rudely interrupted, we should play a game. I for one am incredibly partial to truth or dare, and it’s a good way of breaking in your relationship with one another”. 

“You want to play truth or dare”, Lexa’s skeptical. It seems juvenile but Clarke already seems to be drawn in by the idea and Lexa hasn’t mastered the art of rejecting her wishes and whims just yet. 

“Fine. So long as you take into consideration that neither Octavia nor myself will be taking part in anything physically dangerous. We have games to perform in”.

Octavia gives a mock salute and she simply ignores Raven’s annoyed look.

“What about my health”?

The question catches her off guard, and the sad look Clarke’s giving her weakens her resolve,” I didn’t-, I also care about- You also shouldn’t -“. 

It reminds her of the early stages of conversing with Clarke, and the blonde lets her prattle on for a few seconds before grinning.

A huff escapes her chest and she tries to maintain it with Clarke pecking her cheek,” you’re adorable when you’re flustered”. 

Lexa’s cheeks burn and Octavia’s grin widens,” you two are disgusting. I’m going to tell everyone how big of a sap Lexa is”.

“I will kill you Octavia”.

“Whatever Lexa, we both know you tolerate me too much to end my existence. Besides you wouldn’t risk your perfect season”.

It’s frustratingly true.

\----------

“Wait a second you two had sex”?

Clarke’s spent the last two minutes staring incredulously between Octavia and Lexa. It’d be rather amusing if Lexa wasn’t used to this sort of reaction when people found out.

“It was one time.”

“Well it was one night to be more accurate”.

Octavia raises her drink in response and Lexa’s quick to tap their glasses together.

“And it didn’t make things weird”, Clarke finally manages looking more confused than skeptical at this point.

“It was at first, but we got over it really quickly. It was pretty apparent right off the bat that it wasn’t going to be a reoccurring thing”.

“We were both interested in different people. It was simply a coping method”, Lexa fills in helpfully. 

Clarke and Raven exchange a look and Lexa smiles.

“You can’t blame Clarke for not processing it too quickly. I was just as shocked when I found out about you two”. 

“You make it sound like some big love affair”. 

Lexa can’t help but smirk in Octavia’s direction,” well who could blame you for being totally enamored with me”.

She dodges yet another pillow and laughs at Octavia’s scowl,” whatever we both know if anyone was going to fall in love from our tryst it would be you”.

Raven’s quick to interrupt before the two can argue the point yet again,” I think everyone can agree that the world is a better place without you two attempting to date and inevitably kill one another”.

Agreement is rather mutual at that. 

\----------

“I think Clarke’s done for the night”.

Lexa turns to eye the blonde who’s been in a near sleep state for the better part of an hour now. She’d consumed an amount of alcohol that Lexa couldn’t even dream of tolerating, so it wasn’t all that surprising that she was done for the night. 

“I think you’re right. That’s our cue to turn in for the night”.

Octavia already seems to be struggling with convincing Raven to leave her perch on the couch, and Lexa returns her attention to Clarke. It only takes her a moment to deliberate before picking up Clarke into a bridal style carry. 

“Lexa I can walk up the stairs”, the words are quiet and heavy with sleep so she opts to ignore them nodding at Octavia as she exits.

“You’re light Clarke. I can carry you”. 

The protests die down quickly and instead Clarke seems content to relax, resting her cheek in the curve of Lexa’s neck. 

“Just this once”.

“Whatever you say Clarke.” 

It goes unsaid that Lexa would be willing to carry Clarke anywhere if she needed it.

\----------

Everything had been going smoothly until she returned from the bathroom. In fact it makes little to no sense that things could’ve gone so awry in her brief absence. 

“Are you just going to stand there”?

“You’re naked”.

Clarke’s grinning at her as if it makes perfect sense that she’s naked. As if it’s not something Lexa was completely unprepared for. 

“Why are you naked”?

The smile dims and Lexa sees a flash of that unexplained emotion Clarke’s shown with her lately. 

“Do you really need to ask that”?

It clicks then. This is some attempt at seduction. Not that Clarke would really need to try. In fact Lexa wishes she wouldn’t. It makes attempting to keep their relationship slow and steady that much more difficult. 

“I just thought you’d have finished changing by now.”

It’s a bit too clinical, and even Lexa can identify that in her own tone. Unfortunately Clarke’s smile has already faded into oblivion. 

“Is there something wrong with me”?

The question is almost as surprising as Clarke’s sudden nakedness. 

“What”?

The emotion is anger mixed with something akin to hurt. Lexa can see that now. 

“Is there something wrong with me? Is that why you’ve been avoiding contact with me”?

It makes her laugh. A rather unhelpful emotion given the current tension between them.

“You know what maybe I should just go”.

It’s easy then, sensing that she needs to do something to fix this ridiculous situation. Ridiculous was a poor choice of words. This ill-conceived idea that Clarke had come up with was better.

“Of course not”. 

It’s a good sign that Clarke’s not moving away from her, and Lexa quickly places her hands along Clarke’s sides. Her naked sides. It’s distracting and incredibly frustrating given the circumstances. 

“Then why have you been avoiding me”?

It’s impossible to restrain the sigh and Clarke’s quick to spin around catching Lexa’s face between her palms before she can withdraw.

“Tell me”.

“It’s foolish”.

“I doubt it. You’re many things Lexa but foolish isn’t one of them”. 

“I didn’t want to give off the impression that I was only invested in this for sex”.

Clarke goes to interrupt her and Lexa quickly pokes her side eliciting an indignant squeak. 

“Just let me finish”.

She pauses. Clarke’s nod prompts her forward.

“I also didn’t want this to be just a physical thing. I’ve done that before, and that’s not what I wanted for this. For us. I just wanted to make sure we took things slow. That we did this the right way.”

This time she gives a small nod, allowing Clarke a moment to process her response.

“Well that’s much better than anything I imagined. Lexa, why didn’t you just tell me that”?

A shrug seems like answer enough. 

“Is this about-“?

Once again words fail her and so she settles for a simple nod, her eyes finding the ceiling in an attempt to maintain Clarke’s modesty and to maintain her neutral expression. 

“Lexa.”

That’s enough to draw her gaze back in, and Clarke locks their gazes together suddenly serious.

“I need you to tell me about Costia”. 

Lexa imagines there are few things worse than Clarke uttering those words.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa finally tells Clarke about Costia.

This conversation was inevitable and honestly Clarke had been generous allowing her even this long without asking for an explanation,” it's a long story”.

Lexa doesn't deserve her sympathy and yet Clarke gives it freely taking her hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze,” shouldn't I be the one consoling you”?

Clarke snorts lacing their hands together,” Just start from the beginning Lexa. We have all the time in the world.”

\----------

“Straighten up Alexandria”. 

Lexa can't help but fight a frown when her body jumps into place conforming to her mother's demand. Somehow one icy glare from indra and Lexa was like putty in her hands. It was how she was raised after all. 

Anya offers her a sympathetic smile and Lexa wishes she could ignore that too. Anya had never been one to conform and yet Lexa two years her junior had never been one to resist. 

“You both need to be on your best behavior. This is a very important potential partner for the company. Which means pay attention Anya, and Alexandra no matter how annoying you find the child you will pretend she is the greatest girl you have ever met”. 

They both nod having been through this routine more times than Lexa can count, and would continue to do so. Anya had already made it clear that she had no interest in the family business and honestly Lexa wasn't sure they would pass it to her even if she did. Anya was reckless and bold. She didn't have the patience or the manners to deal with upper management. 

Lexa on the other hand, well she had been destined for the position since birth. Six years old and she knew exactly the path her future would take. 

“Indra I see you're punctual as ever!” 

Lexa had always thought her mother to be an expert in the art of faking interest but whoever this woman was she certainly gave her a run for her money. 

“And you Nia stunning as always”.

“These must be your children, why don't you all come on in, the maid will show Alexandria to the playroom.” 

Just like that her mother and sister were gone, Anya stopping only long enough to pat her shoulder as she moved to follow the older woman. 

A woman who was clearly the previously mentioned maid offered a warm smile before moving towards the opposite side of the house and Lexa dutifully followed. 

“If you need anything at all Costia knows how to reach me”.

They entered a room fit for a queen or rather befitting a child of their lifestyle. Before Lexa could even finish taking in her surroundings she felt a weight slam into her and moments later realized it was supposed to be some aggressive version of a hug. 

“You must be Lexa I'm so glad you're here. My mother never allows any children into the house. I'm Costia”.

Despite the assault Lexa forced herself to return the embrace awkwardly winding her arms around the smaller girl. 

“It's nice to meet you Costia.”

It was once again all she could manage before the other girl was stepping back offering her a brilliant smile. 

“We’re going to be the best of friends I just know it”.

Oddly enough Lexa couldn't help but believe her. 

\--------

“You. As in Alexandria Heda are going to a sleepover”?

“Why is that so hard to believe”, she challenged rounding on Anya who'd been following her since she started packing. 

“Well last time I checked you hate other children.” 

“Well maybe you should check more often.” 

“Wait does this sleepover happen to be at Costia’s house”?

For some reason Lexa felt herself bristle at the comment face turning crimson,” I don't see what that has to do with it.”

“Sure Lexa keep telling yourself that”. 

Lexa wishes she understood the implications in her sister’s words. Wishes she knew why she suddenly felt so full of embarrassment. 

\--------

“Are you comfortable”?

They'd spent the night marathoning various movies and eating far too much junk food. It was the first time Lexa had spent time at a friend's house and clearly she'd been missing out. 

Lexa for some reason didn't mind the cringy romantic comedies that Costia preferred. Meanwhile Costia had only gently teased her over her obsession with documentaries dubbing the trait cute. 

“Mhm”.

“You're a terrible liar Lexa.”

“Only because you've known me for two years”.

Sometime after their fourth movie they'd retired to Costia’s room Lexa taking the floor assuming anything else would be deemed less than appropriate. Based on Costia’s tone she was having none of it. 

“Well come on then”, somehow Costia was already on her feet grinning from behind her extended hand. 

Lexa takes the offered hand tentatively allowing Costia to pull her to her feet,” you can share my bed tonight”.

“Are you sure that's okay”?

Lexa’s not sure why she asked. It seemed to be normal for friends to share a bed especially one as large as Costia’s and yet she was hesitating. A feeling that resembled… discomfort? Or maybe something closer to nervous. Although she certainly couldn't explain why she'd be nervous in this situation. 

“Come on Lexa.”

There was no arguing once her mind was set and Lexa resigned allowing herself to be pulled into the bed. It was honestly the most comfortable bed Lexa had ever been in and yet she couldn't help but stare rigidly up at the ceiling. 

“Ease up I won't bite”. 

Lexa offers a weak smile and as per usual Costia seems to know just what to do to put her at ease. 

“Roll over”. 

Lexa complies cautiously turning to face the wall and starts when she feels arms encircle her waist. 

“Is this okay”.

Lexa simply nods wanting to laugh at Costia’s nerves. How could this be anything but okay? Instead she stays silent worried that if she speaks up whatever this is will be over. 

\--------

Lexa isn't sure when their dynamic changed. When her staring turned from innocent appreciation into a constant deep yearning. 

“Can you put sunblock on my back? I always end up missing spots”.

Lexa flushes and hopes Costia attributes her red cheeks to the heat. This was nothing new and yet Lexa felt like her heart was bound to beat right out of her chest. 

Wordlessly she grabs the sunscreen lathering it into her hands before attempting to apply it thoroughly and evenly across Costia’s back. She tells herself her only motive is Costia’s health as she traces her hands along the other girls back. 

“That feels incredibly Lexa keep going,” Costia moans leaning back into her hands. 

Lexa smirks kneading Costia’s back with a practiced ease. She's not sure when she ended up in heaven but she wasn't going to complain. 

“How is it you manage to be so good at everything”? 

“God given talent and a little bit of luck”.

“You are so full of shit”.

Lexa grins feeling bold she leans forward resting her chin on Costia’s shoulder,” you love it”.

“I love you it's different.”

“I can live with that”.

\--------

“Why do you care so much about the stars? They all look the same.”

Lexa can't help but roll her eyes at Costia looking over at the other girl. They were using the trampoline in her backyard to do their biweekly star gazing session and as per usual Costia was less than enthused. 

“I just think the stars are beautiful. They're constant and dependable even when the world around us is constantly shifting.”

A brief silence fell between them. Costia hated star gazing but she continued to do it for Lexa and for that she was eternally grateful. 

“Hey Lexa”? 

“Yes Costia”, Lexa turned to face the other girl surprised to find her already facing Lexa. Eyes alight with the usual playfulness that came easily to her. 

“You're far more interesting and definitely more beautiful than any star”. 

Lexa’s certain she resembles a goldfish as she tries to say well anything. These comments had become fairly frequent. As if they were testing the waters testing some unspoken bond between them. Still they always had the same effect on Lexa. 

“I think you're beautiful too”, Lexa finally managed lamely. So maybe she was far from the poetic one in their friendship. 

Costia giggles a hand brushing one of Lexa’s stray hairs behind her ear,” you're lucky awkward looks cute on you Heda.”

Lexa couldn't help but smile as she took Costia’s hand returning her gaze to the stars. She was falling and and at that moment she couldn't have cared less. 

\---------

“So Costia was your first love”? 

Lexa slowly nods shrugging uncomfortable at the weight of Clarke's stare,” she was my best friend. She helped me discover who I was as a person”.

Clarke exhales sharply looking disheartened. As if knowing any of this somehow made them less than what Lexa had once had,” well that's not a lot to compete with”.

Lexa needs to do something. That much was obvious. She wished not for the first time that Clarke could simply read her mind. Words couldn't describe how much she felt for Clarke and how insignificant what they already had her past relationship was. 

“There is no competition Clarke. Costia could never hold a candle to you. Do you trust me”, she reached out carefully tracing Clarke's jaw wishing for nothing more than to hold her through this bout of insecurity. 

It takes a moment for those gorgeous blue eyes to meet hers and Lexa wishes she could get lost in them rather than continue this conversation. 

“I trust you Lexa. Continue”.

\---------

“Lexa why are you soaking wet? Get in the house before you freeze to death”. 

Lexa had a plan. Of course the rain presently soaking through her clothes had never been a part of her plan. No she had come to tell Costia something and yet she allowed herself to be led through the house. Powerless even in this moment not to fulfill Costia’s wishes. 

“Strip I'll get you some dry clothes so you don't catch a cold.”

“I like girls”, it comes out stupid and nothing like the short speech she'd been rehearsing for days. 

“The TV show? I hardly see why that's reason enough to show up at my house-”

“As in I like girls the way I'm supposed to like boys. More specifically I like you. I know we're friends and I don't want to lose that but it wouldn't be fair for me not to tell you how I feel.”

The silence is resounding. Costia’s studying her and Lexa suddenly feels the weight of the world lift from her shoulders while simultaneously the weight of insecurity and rejection filling her stomach like a dark pit. 

“I know Lexa,” Costia finally mumbles eyes searching Lexa’s for an answer she isn't sure she has. 

“You do”? 

“You know for being one of the most brilliant girls I've ever met you can be really dense”.

Whatever snarky offended comment she wants to give its cut off as Costia closes the space between them and Costia’s kissing her. It's short and awkward and it's everything. Lexa really shouldn't be surprised Costia had always been steps ahead of her. 

Before she could actually respond Costia’s pulling back the same excitement glowing in her hazel eyes as the first time Lexa had met her. 

“Now hurry up and take off those clothes.”

\--------

“Do you think they know”? 

It had been an unspoken agreement from the beginning that their relationship needed to be a secret. They both came from prestigious families and that came with certain expectations. Thankfully they'd spent plenty of time together before their relationship and the transition had seemed to slip by both parents. That didn't prevent Lexa from stressing over the situation. 

A quick flick to the nose and Lexa’s eying her girlfriend disdainfully,” what was that for”?

“Stop worrying so much they have no idea”.

“Well sorry I'm a little stressed that your parents might realize I've been defiling their daughter for just over a year now”.

Another hit to the shoulder and Lexa’s smirking at Costia’s obvious embarrassment,” not that you've had any complaints”. 

There's a drawn out silence and she wonders If maybe she's overstepped. It wasn't like they'd never talked about the physical side of their relationship. 

“Lexa I love you”.

Lexa should be trained into expecting the unexpected from Costia. It would save her a lot of shock in her life. It takes her a moment overwhelmed by the emotions coursing through her. How she'd gotten so lucky she'd never know. 

She was up and picking Costia up into an embrace spinning her around carefully. 

“I love you”, she manages between the kisses she's peppering across Costia’s neck.

“Take me to bed”. 

“ Your wish is my command”.

\----------

It was the summer before freshman year, they'd been invited to attend the annual team camping trip the school through together. Tryouts had started early and Lexa and Costia had been first draft picks for their respective sports, Lexa going for soccer and Costia trying out for cheerleading. 

“Can you quiet down some of us are trying to have our own conversations”.

As per usual Clarke Griffin was eyeing Lexa with disdain from across the campfire. Lexa never understood the hostility but nodding offering a small smile of apology,” I did not mean to bother you. We'll be quieter”.

The sentiment wasn't returned as Clarke refocused on whomever she'd been conversing with previously. Meanwhile Costia’s expression was a mix of jealousy and annoyance,” why are you always so nice to her she's always so rude”?

She shrugs resting her hand against Costia’s,” I simply don't see the point if not being polite in return. Besides Clarke seems kind when she's not correcting me”.

“Aka you've had a slight crush on her since elementary despite your undying love for me”, it's a challenge and Lexa doesn't back down her emerald gaze locked onto hazel. 

“Are you seriously jealous”?

 

“Maybe”.

Lexa can't help but sigh squeezing Costia’s hand gently,” you have nothing to be jealous about. I promise”.

Lexa couldn't quite read Costia’s expression,” come with me”.

Just like that her girlfriend was up and moving and Lexa followed instinctively. Just like she always would. 

\----------

“Costia this is a bad idea.”

“Oh please Lexa I know you secretly live for breaking the rules”. 

This was a school sanctioned trip and Lexa was positive their current positions were far from school approval. Costia seemed hell bent on breaking that rule though. 

“Why do you have to know me so well”?

“We've been best friends since we were six Lexa kind of comes with the territory.”

Finding Lexa’s statement to be a resignation Costia slid her hands underneath Lexa’s jersey tracing along her abs. Lexa was embarrassed at the betraying moan she emitted burying her face in Costia’s neck. 

“If you don't stop Costia we won't be stopping until I've tasted every inch of you out in these God awful woods”.

“Who's to say that wasn't my plan all along”?

God Lexa could've lived in that moment for eternity. The feeling of Costia pressed up against her. The familiar warmth and all that came with her presence overwhelming her senses until suddenly she wasn't. 

“Lexa. Costia.”

Lexa had never been one to be afraid but she swore her heart stopping in that moment. The voice belonged to Echo one of the supervisor's on the trip, who also unfortunately happened to be close friends with both of their mothers. 

“It's not what it looks like”, Costia had always been the quicker of the two. Although there was little either of them could say in their defense. The situation spoke for itself. 

“I think it's best if we return to the group now”.

Lexa jolted into action catching the woman's arm,” please Echo you can't tell them. They won't understand.” 

“Shut up Lexa.” 

Costia’s sudden harshness stunned her into silence as they formed a silent line moving back towards the main tents. Lexa wanted to pull Costia aside tell her that nothing would change but even she knew that wouldn't be the case. 

“You two gather your things I think it's best if we cut your trip short don't you”.

Shame cut through the silence and Lexa felt like throwing up or taking off into the woods avoiding whatever consequences that would come of this. Two years together and they'd never even sort of slipped up. Two years of hiding their relationship and that was over now. Shattered by one stupid public slip up. 

They gathered their belongings in silence trying to ignore the states of their peers. One stood out to Lexa, probably because it was the first time Clarke had looked at her with anything other than pure hatred. Instead for once it was outweighed by sympathy. 

Lexa found Costia’s hand once theyd been loaded into the back of the car squeezing on to her only anchor in this moment. Whatever they faced they faced it together. 

\---------

“What were you thinking”? Their parents had been waiting for their arrival. Although Lexa couldn't read the expression on her parents face, Costia’s parents were the definition of livid. 

“I think it's best we leave now Lexa.”

Lexa wanted to argue. Wanted to demand that they stay and face whatever Costia’s mother had to say. The look on her father's face said otherwise. She tried to catch Costia gaze tried to imply with a look the love she had for her that this was only temporary. Costia’s eyes never left the ground. 

\--------

“I'm sorry wait so you aren't mad”?

The ride home had been silent an awkward tension filling the car and yet as soon as they'd arrived home the tension was gone. Her parents even going so far as to make jokes going about their usual routine. 

“Why would we be mad?” 

“Because I'm gay and I just got sent home because my teacher found me with my girlfriend. My gay girlfriend”.

“Yes that annoyingly high pitched woman made that quite clear when she gave us a play by play on what she witnessed you doing”. 

Gustus had the audacity to laugh high fiving his daughter who was too in shock not to reciprocate. 

“I'm gay”.

“Oh dear Indra I believe we've broken our daughter. Although I'd like to insert that she gets her charm from me”.

Indra seemed to take Lexa’s response or rather lack of response more seriously and moved to place a comforting hand on her daughter's shoulder,” Lexa dear we could care less what gender preferences you have. Our one and only concern is that you find someone who makes you happy.” 

“Preferably someone who also comes from a good family although your happiness certainly comes first,” Gustus chipped in unhelpfully. 

Tears were forming in her eyes despite her best efforts and Lexa reluctantly allows herself to be pulled into an embrace. Whatever she had expected this certainly wasn't it.

“I thought you guys would hate me. You were so quiet on the drive home I thought you were furious”, Lexa quietly sobbed into her mother's shoulder. They had never been a family filled with sentiment but this seemed like a valid exception. 

“Oh Lexa darling that had nothing to do with you and everything to do with Costia’s moronic small minded parents. They can expect to be removed from every guest list so long as we have a say”. 

“Costia’s parents”? 

“They think you manipulated their sweet innocent daughter into performing your lude acts. It was ridiculous but I suppose not surprising they've always been a little high and mighty.”

Her mother's voice drifted into the distance as her mind filled with concern. What had she left Costia to suffer through? What if Costia needed her? What if Costia actually listened to what her parents said? 

\--------

In the end she was unable to escape her parents until the next morning. She'd texted called used every form of communication possible to try and get ahold of Costia. It was the longest they'd gone without talked since they'd met, and Lexa was filled with anxiety. 

The route to Costia’s was a familiar one. The route was only five minutes long and yet it seemed to last a lifetime. The house that had been her second home for years now seemed foreign to her. Still she was a Heda they didn't back down and she'd come here to talk to Costia whatever the consequences. 

Lexa knocked at the door before stepping back tightening her jacket around herself as if it might shield her. It only took a moment for the door to open revealing an uncomfortable looking Costia,” thank goodness you're alright”.

She'd only managed to take a step in the girl’s direction before a hand was being raised preventing her from moving closer,” Lexa don't”.

“Listen I know your parents aren't exactly happy but maybe we could talk-”. 

“This is over Lexa”.

The air suddenly feels like it's been sucked from her chest. Whatever she'd expected this certainly wasn't it. What they had was real that wasn't something that just disappeared in a night,” you've got to be kidding me”.

Costia had never seemed so distant, so cold and yet here she was stony faced at Lexa’s protests,” we’re done messing around Lexa I don't know what I was even thinking. It's wrong I should've never let you talk me into doing this”.

“Talked you into this Costia you kissed me first. You told me you loved me first. I know your parents aren't happy but we can fix this. Just let me talk to them I promise we can make this work”, Lexa’s voice sounded foreign even to herself. Heavy with the knowledge that she could quite possibly lose not only her girlfriend but the only real friend she'd ever had over this. 

Costia stops and for a brief moment Lexa wonders if maybe she's having second thoughts. If she's suddenly remembered Lexa and the promises they'd made to one another over the years. That what they had was worth fighting for” I don't want you Lexa I never did. You were just a failed experiment and now it's over. Delete my number I never want to see you again”.

“Cos please-”.

The door was closed before she could even begin to argue. 

\--------

Anya found her there hours later. Lexa had been too shell shocked to move. Much less even process what had happened to her. 

“Come here little sister”.

Lexa allows herself to crumble then. Allows herself to feel the sting of rejection latching on to her sister. It seemed they were hell bent on breaking the record for most Heda sappy moments in a 24 hour period. 

“How did you know”?

Anya smiled stroking her hair as she started them in the direction of home,” I'm your older sister Lexa it's my job to take care of you. Let's go home”. 

\--------  
“She just ended it”? 

“The next day she had a boyfriend and a week later her parents had shipped her off to a new school”.

“Wow”.

“I should start by saying there's no excuse for my behavior. If you wanted to end things… I'd be sad but I would understand. I haven't treated you the way you deserve to be treated. That certainly wasn't my intentions. It's just my last relationship was very hidden and physical and I didn't want that for us. I want us to do things right. So if you're willing I'd like a chance to do that. To do this right.”

She's rambling and she knows it but Clarke's silence terrifies her. The idea that she could've ruined a relationship that'd she'd wanted for years because of her own idiocy was awfup” Clarke please-”.

“You aren't just a hookup Lexa. If you wanted to wait until marriage to have sex that still wouldn't change my mind”. 

Lexa can't help but smile at that,” well in that case maybe our next date could involve a purity ring exchange”. 

Clarke feigned a horrified look,” you don't actually want to wait until we get married right”? 

Lexa shoves Clarke with a huff and Clarke giggles their usual banter returning,” don't tell anyone but I really like you Lexa”.

Lexa smiles pulling Clarke towards her and the blonde is quick to settle against Lexa straddling her lap,” deal so long as you don't tell anyone that I also really like you too”.

She pauses somewhat insecure after laying her embarrassing one and only attempt at a relationship completely bare,” so we're good then”?

Clarke's heart breaks at the innocence in Lexa’s tone. She leans in resting her forehead against Lexa’s enjoying the closeness,” Lexa we've never been anything less. Thank you. For sharing everything with me. Sometimes you get so lost in your head, I appreciate the glimpse into what you might actually be thinking”.

She's never had that. Someone who actively asked her opinion and valued it enough to prioritize it,” well I promise moving forward I shall do better at sharing those thoughts. Although I admit most might be quite sappy thoughts. You've become a frequent occupant of my mind”.

Clarke's grin puts the sun’s luminous to shame,” and those are the one’s I would like to hear most”.

“You have my word”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those of you still reading thank you for putting up with my twp year hiatus. Life has been rather hectic but I'm determined to finish this fic and I plan on updating fairly regularly moving forward. I should be posting more on my tumblr http://clexaskimmons.tumblr.com/ . Anyways thanks again!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clexa finally gets to enjoy the simplicity of being together.

Lexa wonders if she'll ever get used to this. Sure, Clarke and her had only dated for a month, and their ratio for nights spent together was above average considering their current lack of sexual activity, but Lexa doubts the feelings it created would ever diminish. Somehow through the night Clarke had adjusted her body draped across Lexa. As if Lexa needed any excuse not to move from the embrace. Golden curls tickled her jaw and the gentle rhythm of Clarke's breath on her neck made waking up this early almost worth it. It takes her a moment to process why exactly she was awake. Her morning run. A workout that would mean leaving this bed, and by extension the goddess like blonde who was presently occupying it. 

“Clarke, baby I have to get up”. Lexa wonders if it's dramatic to feel as if her heart might break leaving the beautiful girl by herself. She knew logically that she would be back before Clarke even began to stir, considering it was a weekend. She could simply return once her morning routine was complete but that didn't satisfy the craving she had to simply stay and soak up the moment.

“Just five more minute. School can wait..” Clarke's voice is low and gravely, her mind not grasping their present situation. It's undeniably attractive. 

Lexa attempts to shift from beneath her girlfriend when Clarke's grip tightens around her, blue orbs suddenly appearing from the mess of gold hair, “Good morning, beautiful.”

Lexa knows that if there was anyone else disturbing Clarke's rest they would've received one hell of a verbal lashing. Instead, Clarke groans once again disappearing into the curve of Lexa’s neck. “Can't you skip one day Lex? It's Saturday, as in the day to rest.”

She's chuckles moving her hand to gently trace abstract patterns along Clarke's back,“You say that every morning Clarke. Besides, you can keep sleeping if you'd like. I'll only be a bit.” 

As soon as the words have left Lexa’s mouth Clarke moves suddenly straddling Lexa pinning her against the bed, “Absolutely not. If you're getting up then I will too.”

Lexa allows herself a moment to appreciate Clarke. The comfortable weight of Clarke leaning into her. The playful smirk that Lexa shouldn't find nearly as attractive as she does, and those eyes. They could certainly give the ocean a run for its money. 

“Well…” Lexa switches their position with relative ease. A grin spread across her face when she hears the small squeak of surprise from Clarke. “Let’s get up then.” 

“Lexa, I know you can't be making an innuendo when we are a far cry from married..” Clarke's words didn't match the glint in her eyes as her legs hooked around Lexa’s. 

“Of course not Clarke, I would hate to make you anything other than an honest woman.”

\----------

“Why did we invite you guys again?”

“Raven were the ones who had the idea, and for the record, you and Octavia invited yourselves.” 

“As if bringing up the movies in front of us wasn't your awkward way of saying you wanted us to come with you.” Octavia grinned at Lexa’s obvious exasperation. Sometimes Lexa wasn't sure what she saw in her two friends. 

“We'll just have to spend the whole movie making out so they'll leave us alone.” Lexa’s heart jumped at the idea and a sly grin spread across her face.

“You guys are so gross! Come on O, let's go get some snacks and leave them to it.” Raven ignored Clarke who had turned to flip her off and instead focused on her girlfriend as they hurried off to buy out the concession stand. 

“Do you think they have a point?”

Lexa chuckled, taking Clarke's hand into her own. “Would it really matter if they did?”

There was a momentary pause before Clarke shook her head leaning into Lexa. “Absolutely not. Let the mortals bask in our awesomeness.”

\----------

The movie was less than enjoyable. Clarke apologized more times than Lexa could count, even though no one could have expected it be as bad as it was. Lexa was a good sport. After all, her reason for even coming had far more to do with Clarke than actually wanting to watch a movie. 

At a point during the movie they'd shifted so Clarke's head rested against Lexa’s shoulder, hand caressing Lexa’s thigh as they attempted to find anything positive in the feature they'd just paid to watch. Octavia and Raven on the other hand seemed hell-bent in pointing out every mistake in the horror movie. Unfortunately, that meant a constant barrage. It was one snarky comment after another. 

“Have I mentioned how sorry I am?”

Lexa’s thankful for the distraction and brushes her thumb across the top of Clarke's hand, “Maybe just once or twice. It's really okay Clarke. I'm sure I've watched worse and I can promise that watching any movie with you, immediately makes it superior to movies I've seen without you.”

“Well isn't someone quite the charmer tonight.”

“Only for you.”

She wonders If Clarke knows. Knows how much she feels for her. Wonders if Clarke can sense how terrified Lexa is of messing it all up. Wonders if Clarke can sense how much their conversation eased her mind, and how much she hoped it did something similar for Clarke. She didn't want secrets from Clarke. She wanted nothing more than to lay herself bare, and with that came its own amount terrors for Lexa. 

“Lexa. Where'd you go?”

That happened a lot. Lexa would get wrapped in her cyclone of thoughts, while Clarke watched patiently waiting for her mind to unravel so she could drift back into the present. “I was thinking about us…Good things!”

It's meant to sound light hearted but Clarke seems to sense the insecurity behind it. A look of concern crinkling her face. For Clarke, that's unacceptable.

“Clarke my thoughts are of you, how could they be anything less perfect?”

The sadness was scrubbed from Clarke’s mind at the sound of Lexa’s tone. “Promise?”

Lexa smiles raising their entwined hands so she can place a careful kiss to Clarke's. “I give you my word.”

\-----------

“So, is there anything you don't like?” 

“I thought I'd made it quite clear I'm only interested in women Clarke.”

Clarke isn't impressed, shooting a quick glare in her direction before refocusing on the shopping list in her hand. They'd decided to continue their weekly family dinner at Lexa’s. Although everyone had agreed after anya’s last attempt Clarke should be the one to cook,” you're so unhelpful”.

Lexa can't help but smile her hand finding the small of the blonde's back. Clarke's quick to melt into Lexa’s embrace. “My apologies Clarke. To answer your question, yes there are a few things I prefer not to consume. As long as we avoid seafood and mushrooms I'm certain I'll be fine.” 

Lexa swears she can feel Clarke's eyes roll as she continues forward dragging Lexa along with her. “Well lucky for you I figured we'd start simple. Pasta today and who knows, maybe by the end of the year I'll grace you with a five course meal.” 

“I would be thrilled to consume anything you saw fit to provide me with”, Lexa hides a smirk pretending she doesn't see the sudden red tinge to Clarke's cheeks. 

\-----------

“Would it be okay if I helped?” 

Lexa had watched Clarke as she'd methodically set about making them dinner. Cooking was not her Forte but Lexa was a perfectionist. One who had trouble grasping that it wasn't possible to be good at absolutely everything she tried. 

Despite her attentiveness she misses the way Clarke seems to melt at the offer,” how about you chop the vegetables? So long as you promise not to cut yourself”. She pauses long enough to grab Lexa’s hand brushing her lips against her knuckles,” I happen to be quite fond of these hands”. 

Lexa flushes eyes wide at the confession and the casual touches. It was something she was still getting acquainted with,” luckily my ability with blades is a severe upgrade from my general cooking abilities. I promise to only chop with the epitome of caution.” 

This seems to satisfy Clarke who releases her hand, an act displeasing to both. Lexa settles in at the island allowing Clarke the space she might need for work and offering her a nice vantage point to stare as often as safety would permit.

Clarke is quick to notice a familiar red coloring her cheeks,” see something you like”?

“You are quite possibly the most beautiful woman to ever grace this planet. HAve I told you that”?

Clarke looks shocked at the admission and Lexa feels embarrassed at her sudden heaviness given Clarke's casual teasing. Still Lexa valued honesty and had promised Clarke insight into her thoughts. No matter how embarrassing that might be. 

Clarke's looking at her emotions dancing across her face and Lexa only has a moment to stress before Clarke's moving. She's close trapping Lexa’s body between her own and the island counter. Clarke seems to be battling with herself and the only indication of a victory for either side is her sudden movement. She's kissing Lexa, lips soft and somehow demanding against her own. Who was Lexa not to comply?

She grasps Clarke's hips pulling her impossibly closer and reveling In the quiet gasp lost against her mouth. It's sweet and intense and says far more than any response Clarke could've verbalized.

When they separate Lexa can't help but whine not releasing Clarke from her grip. They're breathless and Lexa’s confident that Clarke's heart beat is as quick in her own,” that was-”

“You're incredible Lexa.”

\----------

“This is delicious Clarke”.

Lexa let's out an outraged huff and Anya turns to stare at her clearly amused,” oh right I suppose I should've ignored Clarke in favor of you little sister. After all what would this meal have been if not for your perfectly sliced vegetables”.

Lexa’s scowl only lessons when Clarke reaches over to gently squeeze her hand,” thank you Anya. It was a joint effort. In a year who knows I may even allow her to touch the stove”.

“Maybe I should just retire my services in the kitchen seeing as they aren't fully appreciated”, the statement falls flat unsurprising given the smile that hasn't left her lips. Clarke tended to have that reaction in her. 

“As if one word from Clarke isn't enough to get you to do just about anything”, Anya seems rather pleased at the statement and Clarke's smile matches. Of course there was no denying it. All it would take was a word and Lexa knew she would go to the ends of the earth to make it happen. 

\----------

Lexa isn't sure when the natural progression into the living room occurred. One second they'd been chatting over Clarke's incredible meal and the next they were sprawled across the couch too full to do much else,” that was incredible Clarke”.

Anya nods enthusiastically from the opposite side patting her stomach,” Lexa made an excellent choice with you. Although if you ever get sick of my sister let me know. Foods the quickest way to my heart”.

Anya Looks mildly annoyed when a pillow collides with her face turning to look at Lexa whose smirk is more condemning than the scary accuracy of the throw,” stay away from my girlfriend Anya.”

Lexa doesn't hear her sister grumble,” stupid athletics”. She's too caught up in Clarke leaning over to kiss her. When she draws back Clarke's smile is enough to draw out her own,” I could never be bored of you.”

Lexa moves allowing Clarke to lay on her comfortably settling onto Lexa’s form,” I certainly hope not”. 

\----------

“Are you sure your parents won't mind if you stay another night”?

Lexa isn't sure why she asked. Although she's certain the answer is no the last thing she wants to do is convince Clarke to stay anywhere but her bed. 

“We've discussed this my parents trust you. Besides my dad's out of town for business and my mom's been working overnights at the hospital lately. They wouldn't notice even if I didn't warn them.”

“Well good because I've become very accustomed to you sharing my bed”.

“I know I wish I could stay over every night but they do say absence makes the heart grow fonder”, Lexa can't help but roll her eyes moving to wrap her arms around Clarke's waist. 

“I don't see how that could be possible Clarke. I am already as fond of you as I believe possible.” 

“You're such a sap”.

“For you always. Although you have no proof if you wished to prove such”.

“Lexa I could get you to admit it publicly just by asking”.

Lexa tries to scowl. Tries to pretend for a moment Clarke isn't right. It only takes a second for her to cave,” alright. I have a hard time saying no to you. Now come to bed”.

She pulls Clarke with her onto the bed happily sprawling along her, head resting on the flat of Clarke's stomach,” so does this mean I can convince you to skip your morning run before school”? 

Lexa shakes her head slightly brushing her lips against the patch or exposed skin on Clarke's waist,” as much as I hate to say no I have to run, but I'll be back in time to wake you up for school in the morning”.

Lexa chuckles at the displeased groan Clarke gives her expression resigned,” fine but you have to wake me up nicely with coffee in hand.”

“Anything for you Clarke.”

\---------

As promised she's home by 630 just in time to wake her girlfriend up with time to get ready. Lexa was nothing if not punctual. As expected Clarke was reluctant to wake up, the coffee hardly coaxing her into the world of the living. 

“Lets just skip class. You can come back to bed and as can just lay here”. 

Lexa grins reluctant to refuse the offer and Clarke takes advantage of the hesitation her hands grasping lexa’s hips, pulling her easily onto the bed,” even better you're already half undressed.”

Clarke's straddling her and there's too much skin on skin contact. Lexa feels like she's about to combust when Clarke's hands trace the contour of her abs, a smug look curling her lips.

“Have I ever expressed how fucking attractive you are after a workout? How did I get so lucky”?

Lexa blushes her own hands finally moving to pull at Clarke's tank top. One she's quick to tug off, allowing it to disappear into the room. 

“I believe I'm the lucky one Clarke. You're incredible both physically and mentally”.

Clarke blushes allowing her nails to take gently across the top of lexa’s abdomen. Q wave of heat rushes through Lexa and all she wants it to let it consume her. But she can't. Clarke seems to sense that Lexa is returning to her senses and pouts,” you're not going to let us skip school are you”?

“You'll thank me later Clarke.”

“Right now I hate you”.

Lexa smirks at that leaning up to kiss along Clarke's jaw,” you shouldn't say things you don't mean”.

So maybe they're a little late to school. So late that they hardly have time to get yo class on time. Late enough that she's too caught up in her own happiness to fully process the look on Octavias face until she's in class and sees she had 5 missed calls. 

\----------

“I'm sure everything's fine”, Clarke's staring intently at her a hand on Lexa’s thigh in an attempt to subdue her nerves. 

A heaviness has settled into her stomach since they'd arrived. She would have to wait a whole hour to figure out whatever Octavia had been trying to tell her. Lexa wasn't a patient person in these circumstances. 

“You're right I'm sorry”, she sighs reluctantly hand coming to rest atop Clarke's. She offers a tentative smile and Clarke returns it happy at the progress. 

“Come on help me with this assignment. The less homework we have tonight the more time we can spend not studying”, Clarke arches her eyebrow and the proposition has the desired effect. Lexa can't help but lean over kissing her quickly when she thinks the teacher isn't looking. 

\--------

“Lexa”, Octavia is red in the face having obviously sprinted to meet her from whatever class she'd just left. 

“Breath Octavia”, her hand settles reassuringly on her friend’s shoulder as Clarke eyes her with a shared concern. 

“Lexa I was trying to warn you before you found out that-” 

“That I'm back right Octavia”?

A third voice cuts into the conversation and they all freeze. Lexa hates that she recognizes it without even turning around to look. Hates the way Clarke stiffens next to her. 

“Hello Costia”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again thank you to those who have stuck it out and have been patient in waiting for my updates. I've been gone at basic training the last 3 months and go back in another 2 weeks. I'm trying to update at least once more before I got back. As always I hope this chapter was worth the wait, and feel free to comment or ask anything at clexaskimmons.tumblr.com.


End file.
